can I adopt? | Mumsnet

hopefullyoneday · 2010-01-14T11:24:49+00:00

Hi I'm 40, single, no children, have a very good job and a lovely home. Would I even be considered for adoption or would my single status go against me? Thanks

bubblagirl · 14/01/2010 11:35

hi i have single friend who was able to adopt it was long process and she was advised to foster first not sure why but she did and was able to adopt child she fostered in the end

TheWorldFamousKewcumber · 14/01/2010 14:22

yes you can adopt. However when being matched with a child the childs social worker takes into account of the prospective paretns available which best meet the needs of the child. Often a single adopter will "lose out" in favour of a couple.

Concurrent planning can work well for single adopters but you need to be prepared for the possibility that the baby you foster is returned to birth family and you need to be able to take a considerable time off work.

But adoption has worked out very happily for many single adopters - I am one myself!

hannahsaunt · 14/01/2010 14:36

Just out of interest, would one be able to adopt were one 33 with a husband of 50 (unable to conceive naturally)?

TheWorldFamousKewcumber · 14/01/2010 19:10

I don't see why not. You could sound out your local council adoption team they are usually quite helpful.

ktbeau · 14/01/2010 20:41

Hi hannahsaunt

as an adopter, we were told that adoption agencies prefer a maximum of a 40yr age gap between the primary caregiver (as a couple we had to designate one of us as the primary caregiver throughout the process) and the child being adopted.

We were told this was to avoid social stigma for the child.

I don't see why there would be a problem! Good luck

Hi hopefullyoneday

The 40yr age gap thing is a rule of thumb, I know cases where it hasn't been applied. It can depend on the children waiting in your area and what you can offer a child.

I know people who have adopted in your situation.

I am sure you would be considered. You could find out for definite by ringing your local authority (or checking out their website maybe).

If you feel able to consider adopting an older child (over 4yrs say) or a child with a disability/sensory impairment etc then you would become more "attractive" to any adoption agency as these children are harder to place.

Good luck

hannahsaunt · 14/01/2010 20:50

It's my SIL - just wondered before anyone in the family starts making encouraging noises in case it's not a viable option and is another disappointment. Not sure that she would consider anyone other than a newborn ... I guess time with the adoption team will help broaden options and horizons.

Many thanks.

hannahsaunt · 14/01/2010 20:50

It's my SIL - just wondered before anyone in the family starts making encouraging noises in case it's not a viable option and is another disappointment. Not sure that she would consider anyone other than a newborn ... I guess time with the adoption team will help broaden options and horizons.

Many thanks.

Irons · 14/01/2010 20:58

If I were in charge I'd say yes. I'm sure you could give a child a lovely home, single or not, 40 or 50!

tiggergirl · 15/01/2010 08:42

any one can adopt as long as your under 50 and healthy and have means to support the child. i know a couple of single friends who did at 45 the welfare of child is more important and accomadation . good luck

TheWorldFamousKewcumber · 15/01/2010 11:47

I don;t think there is an under 50 rule. I think it depends on the child and the parents.

snail1973 · 17/01/2010 23:29

40, single and want to adopt?

I don't know about the age thing so much, but when we were assessed there was a single woman in the group and she had been told up front by SS that they would only place a school age child with her.

The reason for this was although she would take adoption leave, if the child turned out to have more complex needs they would want the primary carer to have the option to be off work indefinately and if you are the only wage earner that just couldn't be expected of you. By which I mean that you can't support yourself and a child indefiantely on no income. If the child is school age then at least you would be able to return to work part time (ie during school hours) to earn some money.

Clearly if you were adopting a 5 yr old child then you have a bit more scope with the 40 yr age gap too.

hester · 18/01/2010 22:51

I am 45, lesbian, and approved to adopt a 1 year old.

But we are an 'in demand' ethnic mix. If we were a white couple, I don't think we would have got round the 40 year gap thing.

But it's always worth ringing a couple of agencies (local authority and a VA) and talking through with them.

It is almost impossible to adopt a newborn, though.

shivster1980 · 20/01/2010 12:52

I just wanted to echo hester. There are very few 'newborns' available for adoption in the UK. Even fewer available to white adopters. Our DS was 17 months at placement and we were very pleased to be placed with an under 2.

It is the length of the court process which causes the delay, our DS was in FC from birth but the process is so complicated and there are so many possible variables that meant that he wasn't freed for adoption until he was over 1yr old.

We are looking into our 2nd adoption and have been told we have to wait until our child is 4 so that we can be approved for 0-2 age group and there will be a 2 year age gap between children.

AfterAdoption · 21/05/2010 11:31

Despite the many myths surrounding adoption there are only a few laws around who can adopt. As an agency we have worked with single female adopters, gay and lesbian couples and even single male adopters.

Your age, as well as other characteristics, will be discussed and taken into account but it will not necessarily be a negative issue. As others have said it may affect the age of the child you can adopt.

Try BAAF for a list of adoption agencies, Adoption UK and After Adoption for more information.