2nd adoption - how old must dd be before we will be approved?

[snail1973]

Anyone gone back to ss to adopt a 2nd time? We are looking into this and getting mixed info about how old our dd (now 3.5 yrs and was placed with us at 10 months) must be before they would consider us. Anyone got any experiences/advice?

DS was placed with us at 11 months and we applied again when he was about 3.4 (I can't remember exactly). DD was placed with us about 3 months before DS turned 5.

They will probably be reluctant to place another child at the same time as your DD is going through a change (eg starting school). We would have had DD months earlier if DS hadn't had to be taken out of a school that he was unhappy in. They wanted to be sure that he had settled in the new school before DD came to us as that can be a difficult change for the older child.

Hi snail - do you mean you are getting conflicting advice from SSD or from other sources. If the latter I think the best thing to do is to talk to your local SSD adoption service who should be able to point you in the right direction.

We didn't ask our social services when would be the right time to apply to be assessed again. We just phoned them up and told them we wanted apply to be approved. Perhaps if you are asking in a cautious way they might feel that it shows uncertainty. If you want to apply then just do, if they don't want to assess you then it's up to them to justify their decision.

Now that I think back, I'm pretty sure that we made the first approach not long after DS turned 3. Our reasoning was that it would take 9 to 12 months to be approved plus however long to find a match so he would be at least 4 by the time a new child was placed.

Thanks all. We are have moved house since we adopted DD, and are in different local authority. Have tried the local agencies and they seem to want until DD is 5 yrs before they will even accept us for assessment. I know that process will all take an age, so she would be 6 or 7 before we could be matched with another child, which just seems a long time to wait
I guess I wanted to see if other people were getting the same feedback in other parts of the country. Maybe this is standard policy now.

Have you moved a long way from where you were originally? Perhaps your original local authority would be willing to assess you again. It could be that if you have moved to a "nicer" area then they have more potential adoptors than the have young children available, hence putting you off until your DD is old enough for you to be considered for an older child. Neighbouring boroughs may be keener to have you if they are more deprived. For instance, I know that my local authority in East London takes on quite a few potential adoptors from Essex.

If you want to go ahead with your local authority then ask them for a written copy of their policies, specifically something that says they won't take on adoptors until the younger child is a certain age. At least then you would know whether it's their official policy, or just a way of keeping you in line until they want you.

we had to wait 3 years, got dd at 14 months.

We had DD1 placed with us at 2.4 then her sister came to us at 1.9 there is 2yrs between them.

I know this is different because she's a related sibling BUT we were told repeatedly through our reasessment that they prefer an age gap of 3 yrs between any siblings (related or non-related) placed (our DDs have 2 yrs between them)

If your local authority is slow (as ours is) I would start the process now because it may take a while. Or if you don't get good vibes from them look at neighbouring authorities

good luck

Our DS is 3 yrs 8 months and we have been told to wait until he is 4. HTH

That is to start the process again BTW

bran "Our reasoning was that it would take 9 to 12 months to be approved plus however long to find a match so he would be at least 4 by the time a new child was placed." That was our reasoning too and we were prepared for a longer wait for a match this time but our LA said DS had to be 4. It is so frustrating but at least this time it is lessened by the fact that we have our lovely boy .

Thanks Shivster. After lots of ringing around other LAs we have found one that will accept us now (DD is 3yrs 6 mnths). Starting prep courses next week!!

Congratulations - I am jealous! My DS is exactly the same age. I will be ringing again the day after his birthday!!