Could I hear your adoption success stories?

[longtermfamilyplanning]

DH and I are just starting the process of looking in to adopting a child. I feel really nervous on so many levels. Would really appreciate just learning about adopted children & families, how it happened, how you feel, how you bonded. Anything really!! You name it I want to hear about it. Thanks.

This is great insight thank you for sharing and it seems you’re a single parent adopter that’s admirable Iam not sure about doing a couples adoption after our failed baby journey things are looking not so good but I have a strong desire to be a parent so may do it alone if we soparate. There’s something about this determination I believe in and I can see it in your writing I think you’re a great parent and how you have described the aSD and to look at the child not the diagnosis is so wonderful. I will do my research thank you I hope we can keep on touch x

@Cravehappiness

I'm really sorry if this results in the breakdown of your marriage.
Yes I am s single adopter, it's tough but there are lots of us around.
If this is where you are heading be aware that it's normal practice for social workers to ask people to wait a period of time after a loss or the end of fertility treatments. You may also be asked to have some counselling. This is to ensure that you have come to terms with your losses and are fully ready to move forward. It's the same with the breakdown of a relationship. They would expect everything to be resolved, divorce, move house if you need to, and also recover from the loss of your relationship.

You sound so very sad. Do you have anyone to talk to in real life? Maybe consider some counselling now ?

We adopted our ds when he was 18 months and adoption was absolutely the best thing we ever did. It's not always been easy but ds completed our family and is wonderful, even though he's a stroppy teenager now. He's doing pretty well at school and has a nice group of friends.
Be honest with your social worker about what you can and can't cope with. I found the assessment process a lot less stressful than ivf, we did have a very efficient social worker though!
We also have a birth dd and her and ds have really lovely relationship despite there being quite a big age gap.

best thing we ever did was adopt our little one. it was a slog to get there and of course it is draining sometimes. you need to pace yourself and find ways to escape to get some rest. but she is doing so so well and i love being her parent. i know this is hard to say /hear if someone is in the midst of trying to conceive - but i now don't regret not having a biological child. she is more of a wonder to me because she's not come from me. I think in some ways i love her more than i would do a biological child in that it is more uncomplicated - she needed a mum and i could be that for her, no strings attached. and i love her for both my own sake and for her biological mum too. She is still very young and i know there will be huge challenges. and it is a risk adopting a child with a care background. but i hope no-one minds me saying this all as someone who had hard years not succeeding at IVF - i really can't imagine loving her more. my heart and my body craves her in a physical way when i am without her- much like I imagine a biological mother feels. motherhood and parenthood are such personal things and such a journey. i wish everyone whatever their journey all the best.

That is beautiful @seashoreshellsky

but i hope no-one minds me saying this all as someone who had hard years not succeeding at IVF - i really can't imagine loving her more.

I don’t think anyone here would mind you saying that. I love my two down to their bones. They’re in teenage mire just now so equal parts loving and infuriating but I would kill for them, they’re the very best of me.