Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Social Services doing first home visit...ADVICE PLEASE

52 replies

oinker · 23/06/2009 13:09

KKKKKKKKKKKkk

OP posts:
oinker · 08/07/2009 12:21

Thanks for the support

OP posts:
april74 · 08/07/2009 12:45

good luck, I am sure it be fine, but you can't help being nervous.

Pinkjenny · 08/07/2009 15:56
Kewcumber · 09/07/2009 11:15

is she still alive, d'you think?

Pinkjenny · 09/07/2009 11:25

I even did a search under her name this morning!

Perhaps she and dh have been celebrating all night and not yet surfaced .

oinker · 09/07/2009 11:57

Pinkjenny....

You guessed right...

YEAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

They said yes......

They have even changed the prep day courses to suit us. We were planning on flying back from spain for the one of the days cos their course clashed with our holiday...

We are over the moon.

I realise that things will be tough but...

BRING IT ON !!!!!!!

OP posts:
Pinkjenny · 09/07/2009 12:00

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations, will follow your progress with nosiness interest!!

hifi · 09/07/2009 13:11

well done!

hester · 09/07/2009 22:18

Fantastic news! Well done

oinker · 10/07/2009 06:57

Now for the next steps....

What happens at the preparation day courses...?

Does anyone remember.

All advice and details greatly appreciated

OP posts:
hester · 10/07/2009 10:52

I thought the prep course was really useful. For us it was three days, and they were exhausting and emotional. They basically take you through a whole lot of issues you need to think about- why children enter the care system, impact of abuse and neglect on development, attachment disorders, how children may act out loss and trauma, post-adoption support, contact with birth families...

The session I remember best, which was incredibly valuable, was one in which we explored the different ways you may need to parent birth children and adopted children - for example, how 'time out' might work well for a birth child but be really damaging for a child who has been kept locked in a room.

Lots of people also find prep course a great source of networking and mutual support - like the adopters' NCT. This didn't happen for me - the others were perfectly nice, but we had nothing in common (not least because they were all in burkhas and I am a Jewish lesbian ) but it was still interesting to meet them all and hear their stories.

One word of warning: you are told to be open and honest on the course, and of course you should be, but it DOES form part of the assessment process. One of our group took issue with the ethnic matching policy, and I do wonder if that might have blotted her copybook.

On the other hand, it may surprise you to hear (it surprised me) that by the time you get on to prep course they are assuming that you will probably get approved (no guarantee, obviously). In fact, they told us that they already had children in mind for some of us (not for me, sadly!).

So enjoy it, learn from it, be prepared to feel exhausted, emotionally wrung out, and very challenged. But I think you'll find it very worthwhile.

oinker · 10/07/2009 11:04

Thanks again.....

OP posts:
oinker · 17/10/2009 16:42

UPDATE...........

Had the first home visit....... All went well
Did the 4 preparation days all went well.
We are now well and truly on the path.
Have had a social worker assigned and done my first bit of homework in 20 odd years...

It's sooooooooooooooooooooo exciting....

OP posts:
hester · 18/10/2009 21:30

Hi oinker, so pleased to hear from you and that it went well. Did you like your social worker?

My update is that we have finally been approved and the search for our child is now on

Kewcumber · 19/10/2009 10:27

Congratulations, each step is one less towards your goal.

NanaNina · 19/10/2009 11:44

Hi Oinker - I am posting from a slighty different perspective. I retired 5years ago after 25 years as a social worker and manager in fostering and adoption. I now work independently mostly assessing prosepctive foster carers and adoptors. I think it is really helpful that you are being given good advice by others who have gone through the process. Your social worker should be able to deal with any issues that might arise and any queries that you have. Please don't hesitate to raise anything that is worrying you or needs further explanation.

Not sure if your sw mentioned it and she/he probably did but I thought I'd mention you might find it helpful to google "Adoption UK" and "BAAF" (British Agencies for Fostering & Adoption) as there is a wealth of information available from these national organisations.

Good luck with your assessment and beyond!

KristinaM · 19/10/2009 18:37

well done oinker

i agree with nina, you shdoul consider joining Adoption Uk and going along to your local group. You will get so much useful information from other adopters in your area and their first hand experiences of your local SS.

best of all, you will hear about their children and the joys and challenges they bring. It will help you work out what kind of child would be best suited to your family

at the beginning , most people start out with

" oh we don't care, just any child aged under x, we will love them anyway"

however, the whole process will be much easier for you and your SW if you can do a lot of work on what things you think you could and could not handle.

HTH

LittlePushka · 06/12/2009 23:03

Hello Team,....just stalking your ppost and wondered if you'd any more news.

(I am stalking because I have a dear, dear friend of many years standing who is setting out on this road and I'd just like to know a little more about personal experiences so as to understand more of the issues.

muli · 07/12/2009 19:46

be yourself and dont worry to much and be prepared to learn patients and to go with the flow cause before you know it your adopted child will be with you.A few thing!!! , any on going pregnancy issues need to be reslovled, ivf,etc! you need to show them your mentally ready and both you and your partner feel the same about the adoption.We started in febuary 2008 home visit, followed by 4wk induction course going once a week,then by feb 2009 we went to panel to be approved,we then realised after being approved it was the hardest part of the journey just waiting for our social worker to call ,we subscribe to be my parent brochure where it shows photo's and profiles of children waiting ,to which you can do now just for a look cause if you were to find a child in there and your in the process you may speed things up, (that one depends!!! )I reccommend once you've been approved to do your own research , your social worker will suggest you do your own profole as parents and send them out to differnt adoption agancies, plus after 3months after being approved your social worker should register you on the adoption register , the adoption register is where all adoption agancy look to match parents with children, plus you can register yourself on line and call them once a month to see how many enqiures into you as a couple have been made, plus they will invite you to adoption profile days, but all this is ahead of you at the moment so get on board the soooner the better because you'll know how you feel about things as you go along, just keep in mind it will happen, .
wishing you well,

muli.x

we've been matched now with a little girl and will be starting the new year with her, yeehaaaaa

muli · 07/12/2009 19:48

be yourself and dont worry to much and be prepared to learn patients and to go with the flow cause before you know it your adopted child will be with you.A few thing!!! , any on going pregnancy issues need to be reslovled, ivf,etc! you need to show them your mentally ready and both you and your partner feel the same about the adoption.We started in febuary 2008 home visit, followed by 4wk induction course going once a week,then by feb 2009 we went to panel to be approved,we then realised after being approved it was the hardest part of the journey just waiting for our social worker to call ,we subscribe to be my parent brochure where it shows photo's and profiles of children waiting ,to which you can do now just for a look cause if you were to find a child in there and your in the process you may speed things up, (that one depends!!! )I reccommend once you've been approved to do your own research , your social worker will suggest you do your own profole as parents and send them out to differnt adoption agancies, plus after 3months after being approved your social worker should register you on the adoption register , the adoption register is where all adoption agancy look to match parents with children, plus you can register yourself on line and call them once a month to see how many enqiures into you as a couple have been made, plus they will invite you to adoption profile days, but all this is ahead of you at the moment so get on board the soooner the better because you'll know how you feel about things as you go along, just keep in mind it will happen, .
wishing you well,

muli.x

we've been matched now with a little girl and will be starting the new year with her, yeehaaaaa

LittlePushka · 07/01/2010 20:39

Muli, oinker, Hester....any news lately?

Wondering how you are going along.

oinker · 26/03/2010 17:04

Quick update.....

We have a panel date soon !!

OP posts:
KristinaM · 26/03/2010 19:18

oh thats great - do keep us updated

and you are moving pretty quickly - IIRC you only started this properly last february?

have you decided what age group / number of children etc you are going for?

dolphin13 · 26/03/2010 19:19

Hi oinker, I'm new to mn but am a foster carer and adoptor.

Just wanted to say good luck. It must be so exciting to finally be so close.

Are you hoping for a baby, boy/girl, don't mind, and do you still have the dogs.

Fingers crossed for you.

Silver1 · 26/03/2010 22:33

When I went to panel I packed odd shoes we had to dash out and buy some and we were first on!

All the best.