COTS or Surrogacy UK

[SpringBlossom]

I wonder if anyone has any opinion or advice following on from their experiences with either COTS or Surrogacy UK? We are considering going down this route having been told I can't carry a baby to term; I lost my (darling) IVF baby at five months pregnant last year. I wish there was only one in a way as I don't know which one to join! Any advice or experiences to share would be very welcome.

I'm sorry, I have no useful advice, just wanted to say how very sad I am for your loss. Good luck.

Hi SpringBlossom

Sorry to hear what you've had to endure. Me and my husband are hoping to go through a surrogacy arrangement later on in the year, thanks to a wonderful friend we've made at Surrogacy UK. SUK's motto is 'friendship first', and it strongly believes that successful surrogacy arrangements only come when there's a firm foundation of friendship between the surrogate and the couple. They hold get-togethers all over the country throughout the year, and you can also get to know each other on their message board.

Surrogacy isn't an easy path to take - there are no guarantees that you'll meet someone to have your baby, nor that if you're lucky enough to be chosen by a surrogate, she'll actually be able to get pregnant - but it can be very enriching and I've made tonnes of friends through SUK. Just knowing that there are other women in the same boat as me (post-chemo, and other health nasties that mean I can't carry a baby myself) has been a great comfort. And, fingers crossed, some time next year we might be parents! All thanks to a frankly amazing person.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

On the other hand, i can strongly recommend COTS lol
the choice is yours
I think COTS is more formal, you meet on paper then meet up, surro uk is more kind of face to face
good luck either way

Thanks for the replies. They've been really helpful - characterising COTS as more 'formal' and UK Surrogacy as more about making friends and hopefully meeting a surrogate that way really clinches it. I don't think my husband can cope with the latter, so I think maybe we'll start with COTS and see how we can get on... he may have to come round to the idea that he can't meet any potential surrogate in the labour ward...

Good luck oliveoil! I like the idea of making friends at the very least btw... it's a tough situation we find oursevles in.

hey hun
oo you decided to join cots??
im with cots and currently pregnant with twin surrobabies! my 1st surrogacy and first attempt! very happy hopefully your on your way on your journey now hun xxxx

I know it's what "I" know, but COTS seems less of a "popularity contest" type set up.
I wish you well!

Another group is a little wish surrogacy.a-little-wish.co.uk/

We have identical twins via a little wish and host surroacy, also first attempt

It can be hard to decide which group to join, but like most things a little homework is necessary

Any questions just ask.

hugs xx

I was a cots surrogate! Dont go near them! All the want is your money! SUK is the best way to go

@Terrimaya I'm sorry you are in this situation. However what are describing is not surrogacy but adoption. Private adoptions are not legal in the UK. You cannot just give your baby away without the involvement of social services.
You need to speak to your health visitor/GP about your worries to talk about your options

You'll hear nothing good about SUK from me. You pay joining fee and then everything the clinic will charge you and then anything their useless events will cost you, and then you'll find out the success rate is extremely low, you have a better chance winning a lottery, and a massive preference is given to gay couples and the couples who already have kids but can't have another child for some reason. Unfortunately, my husband and I wasted too much of our precious time with them even though alarm bells started ringing a while ago. After 2 years of waiting and going to their events (the last one we went to was absolutely AWFUL and a complete waste of time) we gave up. To be honest, it looks like we have given up on finding anyone here in UK (adoption and fostering agencies, surrogacy agencies) to help us to fulfil our dream to become parents at last.