Adoption presents - what is the etiquette and what would you have liked?

[stealthsquiggle]

Friends are about (fingers crossed - final panel in a few days) to start introductions with the LO they are going to adopt (they have a DS already - not adopted)

Obviously I would like to mark this occasion just as I would with a friend who gave birth. But I am talking myself in circles as to when is the appropriate moment to be offering congratulations - not wanting to count any chickens before they are hatched, etc.

Also any ideas for presents for the parents and older sibling of an adopted toddler?

bump - please?

I waited until the child was in their home. I bought gifts for the children and a bottle of Moet for the parents.

We had pressies for DS and quite a few cards, possibly a bottle or two of wine as well. The present I liked best was a set of wooden letters that spelled DS's name, I put them up on his bedroom door.

I like that idea bran, Thanks. They are not big drinkers but do drink sometimes so champagne might be there as well.

So you reckon at the point that they officially take LO home?

I like that idea bran, Thanks. It will be short notice yet as I don't actually know LO's name yet . They are not big drinkers but do drink sometimes so champagne might be there as well.

So you reckon at the point that they officially take LO home?

oops

We received gifts of clothes / toys / books for our little one as and when people met her (ie after intro's and moving in) The actual official adoption can happen as early as a few months into the placement or take much longer, so I would go for when they 'arrive', not wait until the actual court adoption.

Existing child was thrilled to be remembered too - receiving books / toys. They received sibling t-shirts that were cute. (Big Sis/Bro, Little Sis/Bro type ones)

Best presents we received as new parents : Lovely new photo frame for family pic.. Also the friend who gave us some money and said to use it when we were stressed and exhausted and couldn't be bothered to cook to get a nice take away.. It was a really lovely gift and was used very early on!! For me though all the cards with good wishes are very special and have all been kept for their memory box.

It depends on when you're going to see them I suppose. They probably won't be having visitors for at least a couple of weeks after they bring the child home so you could post the present, or drop it off one evening between the panel date and the date they bring the child home. If you are a close friend and likely to be seeing them quite soon after they start accepting visitors then you could wait until then to give presents.

bran - they will still be doing school run with elder child (and I may well be picking up for them on occasion), so I will see them, albeit in passing...

Does anyone know where you can get larger sizes of big sibling/little sibling T shirts - I have only seen them with the 'little sibling' ones in newborn size.

I got big brother, little brother and middle brother T shirtsHERE

You have to go to the "Print" bit. They go up pretty big

Tommy that's perfect - long-sleeved ones as well - Thank you

you're welcome - I love that site - the clothes are really good quality as well

i got a really lovely handknitted cardi and a couple of beautiful photo albums for dd life book .

i agree to go for when the child comes home. dont wait for the offical adoption as it will months or even a year away

having something they can keep is always nice, the kind of thing like people give for Christenings eg picture frame, china plate to hang on wall, cutlery set, name plaque etc

they wont want the toddler to be overwhelmed with new toys and they probably have lots already as its their second

don't forget a small gift for the older sibling too ( i'm sure you wont)

a couple of home cooked meals or offer of doing the school run for a bit might be welcome too. a new toddler will be MUCH more demanding than a newborn

champagne always welcome too IME

Tesco.com voucher for when they can't summon the energy to go to the supermarket?