Been a lot in the press last week about the percentage of fathers bringing up children that aren't biologically theirs.
There's another side to this - what about the actual fathers of those children who aren't aware they exist?
If I had a child and didn't know I'd be devastated to find out, but as women we're never in that position, are we?
My mother's sister (ie my auntie) got herself pregnant in the early 1970's by a married man. She told nobody about this, concealed it until 7 months then took herself off to one of those "mother and baby homes" telling everyone at home she'd gone on a 6 week course.
She gave birth to a son, handed him to the adoptive mother personally and went back to the family home. She'd never have been found out but my own mother found the baby's birth certificate and questioned her. Eventually their mother found out but they never told their father.
My auntie married and had another son two years later, followed by two more children. She was a lovely mum and a sort of second mum to me, though I had no idea I had a slightly older cousin - always thought I was the oldest grandchild.
Sadly she died of cancer when her children were still small. Years later my mum told me the story and said she'd left her own name as a contact with the adoption authorities in the event that this boy ever came looking for his mother. I often felt I hoped he didn't come looking as he'd run the risk of being devastated at what he found.
We are both 36 now and he's never some forward. His younger siblings have been told about him (by a male relative and I wasn't sure about the wisdom of this...) but, wondering about his father, I asked my mum.
Turned out my mum knew who his father was, though it's not on his birth certificate. As my grandma is dead, my mother is the only person who knows this information and I'm the only person she's told.
His father, it turns out, was a famous face locally in the 1970's and since then he's built a successful business empire in the entertainment industry. He comes up if you google his name and he's easily contactable - I actually read about him in one of the Sunday broadsheets a couple of weeks ago.
I don't know whether he ever married but he has a son he knows nothing about. I feel it's important I remember this man's name in case my cousin shows up but I do feel terribly odd knowing this guy knows nothing about his son.
Any thoughts? I think about it a lot.