I could use some advice please

[ShouldIDoAnything]

I have to declare a bias. I was in care and have been threatened with violence by them so need impartial opinions. Before the threat I was worried though about the child's future emotional well being..

A couple are in the process of adopting a subsequent child. It isn't signed off yet though the child is living with them.

The child is called names. They talk about him in a negative way in front of him. I know they haven't bonded with the child as they did before but I know they wouldn't send him back.

My concern is for the child. I told them the child would get a complex and the parent just said I know and has carried on. Things you have said to you as a child can cause just as much damage as being hit, etc.

I have to go soon but would appreciate any thought and will be back later.

Thank you.

sorry, I'm a bit confused. how do you know the couple who are adopting? are you saying they were your foster carers? or are they family members? are you related to the child they are caring for ? when you say they threatened you with violence, what do you mean?

its hard to give advice without knowing teh circumstances. of course you could contact the child's SW and share your concerns about the child's care but would that be a safe option for you?

how awful could you not write an anonymous letter to ss?

They were friends but I am guessing they aren't now.

I helped be a referee for this new child.

I know it sounds like I am just being vindictive but now that my DH has been threatened (via me) it gives me even more concerns. The man has told me before his wife had to stop him going for a neighbour over something petty.

I have concerns that how they are with the child isn't right for him and now I am concerned about his temper.

tell the social worker.

TBH I don't have a lot of faith in the SW. She seems a nice lady but is a bit scatty and not very good at doing what she should, when she should. (ie urgency) I also couldn't trust her not to say it was me and tbh they would know as this is a specific threat.

I am not going to leave this. I will talk to my MIL and DH about what to do next.

I haven't seen any of the family since the threats were made.

Is there anyone you could talk to about this, in an official-ish sense?