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Deciding whether to try to adopt

2 replies

ActingNormal · 13/01/2009 13:39

We already have 2 children and are thinking of adopting another child.

We are in the really early stages - have got info pack and a slip to fill in to attend an info evening.

The thing that is holding me back is the feeling that if we want to do this we have to be perfect parents! And I'm not sure if we are.

Every time the children make me cross or wear me out or I feel I've just said or done the wrong thing I worry that if I can't get it right with them or find it hard work just with the two I've got should I inflict my parenting on another, vulnerable, child? How good do I need to be? I'm not totally rubbish at it but I do make mistakes sometimes. So does DH.

I really feel we could be good at this but then I have moments of doubting myself and thinking "What makes you think you are good enough at being a mother to do this". Even the fact that I hadn't done the laundry since before Christmas until yesterday made me think "What would a social worker think if she/he saw the squalor we live in?" and I thought that I should grow up and get much more organised and responsible with the housework.

I suppose the social workers that visit and the adoption panel will tell us if we aren't good enough to do it won't they. I just have the occassional mental image of them laughing with scorn at the thought that we think we are up to the job and then feel scared of going for it.

OP posts:
DesperatelySeekingSanity · 13/01/2009 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lauriefairycake · 13/01/2009 15:48

This is about your self-esteem - you sound like a fantastic parent

For goodness sake boost yourself up a bit - kids well? healthy? not traumatised by having you as a mum? then Go for it !

If it's any consolation my social worker takes us as she finds us - yesterday she took me with filthy house (burst pipes so mud everywhere) and 8 loads of washed washing in the living room (as no washing machine had to go to launderette but was drying it at home). Plus a headless dead rat on the floor which I hadn't noticed that the cat must have brought in.

She didn't take the kid away

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