fostering - I am in awe of people who do this...

[susia]

I am currently in the process of trying to adopt and I really hope I can adopt a child and will be considered suitable. In the meantime I have discussed fostering with a social worker. I wish I could help children in this way but feel I would find it too heartbreaking not to be able to keep the child.

I am totally in awe of anyone who fosters, who gives so much and then has to hand the child to a permanent family. I wonder how anyone has so much to give that they are able to do this and how they started fostering? Maybe one day I could do this too.

Hi susia, DH and I have been foster parents for 21 years and we got into it mainly due to the fact that our youngest child had started school and , while I knew we couldn't afford to have another baby, I was dreading not having a little one around.

At about the same time there was an item on our local news about children in care at Christmas time and it ended by giving a phone number if you were interested in fostering.

I rang the number and six months later we were approved and got our first baby the following day.

Caring for the baby/child is the easy bit, its the moving them on that I struggle with. It never gets any easier but I love the job so its the price we pay.

Good luck with your adoption.

Hi susia

I too am in awe of foster parents

It would break my heart too

I (like you) am trying to adopt although I have had my approval for 18mths but have not managed to be placed with a child yet

Tbh getting approval is the easy bit(not that easy but the waiting is really hard but good luck to you, I hope it goes well for you

Ooops I forgot my hats

Totally the opposite for me - 2 years to get approved child placed the day of approval.

And she will likely not be moving on so therefore likely she is the only child we will ever have - currently she's 10 and likely to stay til 18 if they put the care plan in place long term. There are no plans to return her ever to her family.

i'm in awe of foster parents for what they put into a child who is only temporaily theirs and what they go through. its amazing. we had a boy in school who destroyed everything. his carer came in and told me he had repeatedly wrecked the house, hit them, smashed things up, cut up clothing and thrown away everything they gave him, but his foster dad was so calm about it all and just said "oh theyre only possessions, me and mum just clean up and start again tomorrow".. i don't know how he did it all with a smile on his face. what amazing people!

My foster parents, as well as having two of their own children, fostered 14 of us altogether and it was nice because we grew up as a 'conventional' family and we all stayed with them into adulthood. I don't know how they did it, they never raised their voices, were always there to help us with our homework, the house was always immaculate and we were always taken to one activity or another, as well as my mum cooking home-made stuff. They always had a smile on their faces and were always willing to give us a hug. My mum also looked after her mum, who was getting old and needed 'around the clock care'.

I never forget how fortunate I was.

I do not know, to this day, how they did it - all I know is that, there is a God!!

susia - could you consider respite fostering? I know several carers who do this. one has a large sibling group one weekend a month to give their mum a break - they are still with their mum.

the others have children who are in long term / permanent Fc placements. they have 3 or four children who coem , seperately, one weekedn a month and for periods during the school holidays. Again its to give them some one to one attention and to give their FC a break or allow them to have holidays with their own families

the only thing is that it wont give you much of a sense of what a permanent placement would be like, as its a bit like visiting your granny...the kids are often on their best behaviour and you only have to do the nice easy bits of parenting with them

I think that fostering should be thought about carefully and chosen for the right reasons. I had an awful experience with the foster carer of my grandson. Long story.
She in my eyes was completely privileged to be caring for him. She was totally unhelpful and made hurtful comments. Some situations are very difficult without this added pressure. He was bought so many
things when he was born yet when I picked him
up I left with a carrier bag of items.

Didn't want to question anything sojust left.
As she was working for a private company she was payed I was informed by s.s £650 a week!

He left there at 5 months old. He was there from birth. I had contact that increased over time to overnight stays. He was then moved as an emergency due to the fact of how difficult she was making the contacts. Most awful profound effect she had on us.