Advise please? Asking for DLA - what do you put on the form re' challenges'?

[magso]

Hi. Ds is 8, adopted and has LD ASD and ADHD. I should have applied for DLA years ago (after not knowing about it for years) but lived in hope that consistant energetic parenting would help reduce the challenges! Ds is a wonderful busy child but needs ft 1:1 energetic care even at nearly 9, and needs all sorts of things and therapys the system does not provide (nappies, OT, ABA to name a few). We are mostly below the 'radar' at present and do not get postadoption or disability support.
The DLA form asked for the medical diagnosisis - but I think the underlying difficulties that lead to his placement are as significant - although he does not have a Dx as such directly related to his early history.
I thought DLA would help pay for some of the things that help ds and perhaps some respite!
How do you phrase things?

I strongly advise going to the Citizens Advice Bureau. DLA forms are extremely difficult to get right and you can fail by wording them incorrectly. The CAB will know the exact criteria you need to prove and how to show your son fits the criteria. Good luck

Thanks navelgazer! Actually the CAB do not help with DLA forms here but a volunteer from another organisation (the money advice unit)will check it. I am trying to type it in in rough so to speak so it is ready for expert correction later this week!
It is the phrasing specific to the day to day challenges I am struggling with.
I have read the advice on the cerebra and NAS web pages which suggest repeatingly stating 'because of his learning disability/autism dc ---. Ds is a mixture of all of his difficulties and I often dont know wether the challenges are due to ASD, ADHD, LD, or his difficult early history IYSWIM. In general life - he is just Ds! Also some of these things are pretty private!

I would advise you to post this question on the special needs boards here on Mumsnet. There are people there who are experienced with the DLA forms and what to write and NOT write.

I have no such experience of these forms but would guess that you should concentrate on the Dx that you DO have, rather than speculate about the causes that may be related to his early years, genetic influences etc. You probably know that the official position on RAD/SPD/effects of trauma and abuse etc is where it was on things like ASD about 20 years ago ie its still seem as a bit controversial & probably made up by the middle classes to excuse their bad parenting .

I am not doubting that your son's problems may be partly (if not mostly) due to his early years. I'm just not sure how much you should go into this on the form IYSWIM.

Katie thanks for your reply. That is kind of what I think.

I've got a bit more time now to answer. I have filled a few DLAs in my time but not for kids - where most people go wrong is concentrating on the illness/diagnosis rather than the daily effect of the same. Your GP will presumably confirm the diagnosis, your main job is to describe the day to day reality of it i.e. instead of saying he needs someone to watch him when outdoors because he's got ADHD you should say he needs someone to watch him because e.g he will wander off/walk in the traffic/ get lost. Be VERY VERY SPECIFIC (sorry I don't have experience of ADHD, these are just examples off the top of my head.) With a child I believe you have to show the 'extra' parenting that's needed i.e. the average 9 year old can dress/toilet themselves, be left alone in the kitchen. Go through your day and think specifically of the extra things you have to do over and above the average.

Thanks Navelgazer. I am so used to Ds and his continous needs that I marvel at what little mights half/quarter his age can do! We all get accustomed to glossing over the gritty details so I have found the form rather difficult.

Sorry I got into work mode for a minute there - hope I wasn't too blunt

Not blunt at all. You are right - it is obvious to me that as ds has the attention span of a knat he will wander off - run into traffic- need help with all the basics, lick strangers given half a chance - but it needs to be spelt out! Thanks

The forms are hard work, in that you NEED to spell out the aspects of your child's behaviours/needs that are different to that of a mainstream NT child. This is hard in that it brings parents face to face with the 'differences' between our children and others. My advice would be to underplay nothing, and to give the specific details of why the needs are greater than a mainstream child (for us it can be stuff like all the extra help and supervision needed when doing something so regular as just going to the local park, as an example. DD needs to be helped onto a swing, lifted onto everything, helped to walk etc etc. She also has no concept of danger) Hope this helps a little