Birth mum- sensitive content

[Ted27]

The thing I have always dreaded and feared.
My boy's birth mum has been found dead in her flat. Its possible she could have been there 3 days.
She was 42 and had 4 sons adopted or taken into care. My boy is the eldest.

What a waste of life, so desperately sad. I always knew it would end this way.

I will have to go and see him tomorrow. I have no idea how he will take it. There has been no contact since he was 4 years old. He hasn't shown any interest in seeing her.
But that opportunity is now gone, questions unasked and now forever unanswered

@Ted27 i am so sorry to hear of the loss of birth mum. I completely understand your concern of questions unanswered and hopefully birth dad will be able to answer at least some of them. My dad died when I was very young and it has impacted me- even on medical grounds- I can’t answer fully if x runs in my family as I simply don’t know.

i am sending you and your boy love and strength.

I think that was the hardest thing I''ve ever had to do.
He was very shocked but we sat and talked and he let me hold him.

He doesnt really have any memories of her but he has asked me to send him the one photo we have of her. We have no photos of them together.
We have seen more recent photos of her, the years of alcohol and drugs have taken their toll and she looked old beyond her years.

He will have to make decisions about the funeral but will probably be some way off.
Because of the way she was found I think there will be a post mortem and possibly an inquest.
I feel sad that she will never know her sons, and how well my boy has done in life.

I've opted out of life today, apart from checking in on him. Although chemo is done, I'm still in treatment which has its own joys. Normally I power through but no energy or inclination for that today. Back in the saddle tomorrow.

Thank you for the support

@Ted27 So glad you took a recovery day ❤️‍🩹 be kind to yourself going forward too 💐

I’m sorry you and Ted Junior are going through this, keep being kind to yourself, you could easily become burnt out, especially as you have already had a difficult year.