Husband and I not on the same page about adoption

[AngieBear41]

So I am in a very difficult situation. I was diagnosed with a psychotic disorder I also have post partum psychosis and some severe chronic health issues. When I conceived I didn't know the extent of my issues but I knew things were not good. I had previously asked my husband to get a vasectomy and he wouldn't. I gave birth June 12th 2026 and I want to place the baby for adoption but the main crux of my issue is my husband does not. I know my limitations and know I can't parent our son I am just struggling to survive my issues at this point.
I don't know if there is anyone out there who is in or has been in anything similar but I am struggling even more having to make hard decisions..my husband doesn't want me to leave but if I stay what does that look like?? He is just a parent and I am not? I am thinking of requesting to terminate my rights based on not being fit mentally or physically. I have a disability case pending and haven't been able to work since 2024. I am just literally stuck and I hate this feeling. It is making my mental health so much worse.

Hi. I'm sorry to hear this. Have you spoken to your health visitor? It's very unusual for babies to be voluntarily relinquished for adoption these days and hopefully there will be help for all of you.

Thank you. And yes I've spoken to my psychiatrist counselor and also children services which I think the latter caused us some additional issues.
My husband and I spoke last night and I told him one minute I feel ok the next my mind is unhinged. So our plan right now is to do daycare when my husband goes back to work while I work on treatment.

I am so sorry to read this, as an old midwife I feel you need to talk to someone, your GP, healthcare practitioner or perhaps a good trustworthy friend and be totally honest. Please try and stay strong my thoughts are with you. Take care!

I really feel for you but I don't think posting here is a good idea. I mean that with care because you may receive a lot of conflicting, or even worse, nasty replies and I think that would make you feel even worse. I think this needs to be between you, your husband and medical professionals. 💐

I know of one recently and even though the birth mother was adamant it was still a long drawn out process and the child was in foster care until after their first birthday. Someone in the family wanted to raise the child and social work had to explore if this was possible which took a long time and caused a lot of trauma for those involved. Kinship care is always sought as an option where possible where I live but I don't know if that's the case everywhere.

Well I appreciate the feedback. I think this sort of thing needs to be discussed more often because honestly I think women suffer from these issues more than is spoken of and I also think women get looked down on unfairly because of it. Men seem to be able to come and go as they please as parents completely or mostly unscathed while women cannot.
Anyway I think childcare is not going to be an option so not sure what is going to happen. We looked at a place today. We live in the U.S so daycare is extremely expensive I thought we may qualify for assistance but upon further research I don't think we do....the place we looked at today was 1600.00 a month. I did fill out the form for assistance but I doubt it will be approved.