Birth son becoming very distant

[Animallover2325]

Sorry that was supposed to say adopted son

Has anyone experience of young adult adoptee who is still working through a lot of things in life stopping communication with supportive adoptive parents after birth family show up later in life? How do you deal with that

I am sorry you have no responses on here. I do not really know much but think it is not unusual. I am sure he will communicate with you once he has processed his feelings about his birth family. Adoption reunion is a very emotional time.

I don’t have personal experience as our adopted son is still young but we have fellow adopter friends (they adopted a second similar in age to our ds) who’se first adopted child did similar. I think its fairly common young adults trying their independence & forging their own way & trying to make their reality of birth family & adoptive family make sense.

im sorry I can’t offer much advice but I feel like I would approach in a similar way we do to our struggles now.

be calm & be present when they allow you, low demands but reassurance that you’re there & open to hear what they want to say even if it feels difficult. Lots of love, understanding & offers of connection without guilt tripping if not accepted.

be there always in the background and hopefully this too will pass

having said all that protect yourselves too it must be quite painful and appropriate boundaries are still important

sending hugs & hope that better times follow ❤️‍🩹

Kind of, but not specifically related to contact with birth parents. Yes, my AD1(nearly 19) is very selective in her communication with me/us. Basically, our relationship is transactional as I believe she has reactive attachment disorder. She contacts me when she is in crisis or wants me to buy her something. I try not to take it too personally as I know she is not capable of a deeper and more meaningful relationship. I try to stay bright and breezy when she eventually stops blocking me and I am always open to meeting up. All conversation stays superficial when we do. She knows I always have her back.