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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Should I seek an autism assessment for my six-year-old daughter?

5 replies

jaynep28 · 13/04/2026 14:18

Hello

i have a beautiful daughter age 6. I’m am starting to wonder if she may autistic:

she makes friends initially but loses them quickly. She has told me other children call her weird. She is also super clingy/obsessive with one child and doesn't like others playing with her.

she is better with younger children

she walks on her tiptoes some of the time but not all of the time.

she plays pretend but mostly the same thing teachers (what has happened at school), or tv programmes. She also likes to line things up in her play or put things in bags. But this is part of her play. E.g. the children will
line up.

she interrupts me and her dad all the time when we have a conversation. She is extremely talkative.

she copies other children’s behaviour (this was raised by teacher in year 1). She has started walking like one, wanting a chewy stick like another etc, became very interested in a girl with diabetes.

she has great speech and gives eye contact. She has very good hearing but doesn’t appear to be bothered by noise.

she is well behaved at school (although quiet) and struggles following 3 step instructions. Other than that age appropriate according to teachers in all areas. Very good reader but loves reading.

she has started clapping randomly throughout the day (but only very short intervals). She sucks/bites her fingers.

she did have a deep interest in a Disney programme which lasted a year. Since then I haven’t noticed any other interest other than playing teachers /doing phonics.

she struggles with separation anxiety.

she likes cuddles from me and other family. She isn’t a fussy eater.

she wouldn’t play independently for a very long time but this has improved a lot.

I wondered if this sounds typical for a 6 year or if I should have her assessed?

thank you

OP posts:
Arran2024 · 13/04/2026 15:37

She sounds very much like my younger daughter, who is now an adult.

She was diagnosed with autism aged 7. She also has PDA - she is very good at masking it though. She was not oppositional at school but kept her head down to avoid teachers' attention.

She also had speech and language and OT assessments which showed up significant issues.

What do school say?

But yes, start the ball rolling now.

jaynep28 · 13/04/2026 16:32

Thank you for your reply 🙂school are unaware of any issues but I have got an assessment for attachment through ss. I don’t think she has attachment issues ( well not significant ones) despite being adopted. I’m hoping the assessment will help. How is your daughter now? Thanks again

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 13/04/2026 21:56

It might be worth seeing if you can access a full neurodevelopmental assessment. They’ll assess for everything including developmental trauma, attachment, processing difficulties, ASD etc. Be prepared for a long wait - my DD is only now starting that process aged 14. Were accessing it through CAMHS but it’s a multi-disciplinary assessment and I think will be worthwhile.

Some of the things you mention could be ASD, could point to processing difficulties, developmental delay, developmental trauma, attachment difficulties all of which are common in adopted children.

Separation anxiety at 6 doesn’t sound like a securely attached child - which isn’t a criticism of you’re parenting or any comment on your relationship, attachment style is complex and slow to adjust.

Arran2024 · 13/04/2026 23:44

jaynep28 · 13/04/2026 16:32

Thank you for your reply 🙂school are unaware of any issues but I have got an assessment for attachment through ss. I don’t think she has attachment issues ( well not significant ones) despite being adopted. I’m hoping the assessment will help. How is your daughter now? Thanks again

My experience is that if you see an attachment expert, they will diagnose attachment issues - they are unlikelyvto go beyond that and diagnose say autism.

My other daughter was seen at one of the big London post adoption services. They diagnosed her with attachment difficulties. She was 5. They missed the moderate learning disability, adhd and autism - these were all subsequently diagnosed and made much more sense. Sure, she had some attachment issues, but they were minor in comparison.

A lot of adoption informed specialists believe that all difficulties adopted children have are due to attachment, or maybe foetal alcohol syndrome. They can be reluctant to diagnose autism or adhd - they think the traits are just mimicking attachment based traits.

It's a minefield. Are you able to self fund anything yourself?

onlytherain · 15/04/2026 18:12

A lot of the things you are describing could have been my daughter aged 6. She has ADHD and fell within the ASD range on preliminary tests, but never completed the full assessment. I regret that she never had comprehensive assessments. I think it might have made life easier for her.

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