If you’ve given a baby up for adoption, do you think about them as an adult?

[StarSignGirl]

Just a question for birth mums who chose to put their baby up for adoption, if wether you think of your baby often as an adult?

I was adopted as a newborn (I’m now an adult) and have no real information on my birth mum other than she was young.

Obviously no one will know how she feels but I’d like to see if people still do or if they move on with life. I’d like to think she thinks of me sometimes.

I'm absolutely sure she does. Have you had a good life, have you made peace with her decision, are you happy?
I'm not a 'blood" is the most important thing kind of person as long as you feel love, that is most important thing in life. Xx

Feel loved, I meant to say

Thank you for such a lovely reply. I’ve had a really good life and I’m so happy, it wasn’t ever something that crossed my mind as a child. But since having children of my own it’s made me think about things more.

I have an older friend whose newborn baby was removed from her to be adopted (she was very young and pressurised by family). She has never fully recovered from the trauma and loss. She later went on to have three children and they all knew from a young age that they had an older half sibling. Not everyone is the same, but surely many if not all mothers must remember the children they have carried and borne.

I'm so glad you are happy and have had a good life. I'm fostering a child for the rest of my life😮They still see their family sporadically. I have older children but my god, do I love this wee thing.
My dn was adopted as a toddler, he is 40yrs old now and has absolutely no interest in finding out about bio family. I don't know whether thats odd but I think I would definately be curious.
Do you plan to try and find anything out about birth mother?

As a birth mother myself from the 1960s, I would say that it must be impossible not to think about a child you gave birth to, especially on their birthday and other special times like Christmas and mother's day. I always thought about my child a lot.
I don't think many women choose to have their child adopted. It was usually coercion by their parents/society/church/social worker.
We were reunited, happily for me.
I'm glad you have a good life.

I am a birth mother who's son was adopted at the age of 18 months due to my post natal depression and havi g no family support to help. My ex husband had been seeing someone as I was miscarrying so it didn't help. He looked after our son then without consulting me put him up for adoption. I fought tooth and nail to stop it happening but lost the court case to social services. Roll on 27 years and he's finally found out who I am. He was told by his adopted parents I had committed suicide so it was a shock to him to find out it wasn't true. We started texting after we swapped numbers then it stopped as he was finding it hard to deal with. I am struggling where to turn now I miss him so much and it is heartbreaking when mothers day or birthdays and Christmas comes round not to receive a card. My 31 year old is estranged from me so I am really finding it hard to deal with

@Chrisky I am sorry you are going through such a difficult time. It is quite common for adopted adults to cut contact after a while. Your son has had a lot to process, having been told you were dead, and finding out that was a lie. Reunions are very emotional and difficult to deal with, even if you both want it. Give him some space and hopefully he will come back to you soon.

PAC-UK are brilliant if your local authority funds them where you live. It is worth contacting them for advice. You can message me if you want to talk privately.