How did you choose a Secondary school

[MattDillonsEyebrows]

Can someone give me some advice?

We are just starting to look at secondary schools for our Year 5 DD and I"m not really sure where to start. She has a lot of social & SEN issues. At the moment we are at a very naice village school and her behaviour makes her stand out rather which obviously does not help her shame spirals.

School, is just about to start her EHCP, they have put off doing it until now as they felt she needed it for secondary school rather than primary. They told us they were doing everything they could and it was pointless doing it before then as it would have been rejected. (In their defence DD did have a great year 3 & 4 as she really bonded well with her teacher).

We have at least 5 schools in our catchment, school A is the closest one, most children will go there, so she will know a lot of students there, however, it does not have the greatest reputation and many students have left and gone somewhere else.

School B is the one with the best reputation by far, (for academic, sports and SEN) and most pushy ambitious parents are trying for that one. However it serves a massive catchment and it is a massive school.

Obviously getting a place shouldn't be an issue if it is the right place for her. however, my concern is that she would have the same issue at this school as primary, where she stands out. It does have an excellent reputation for SEN, but trauma is different isn't it and I'm not sure many schools get this.

The other schools all have certain reputations eg for low standard of teaching, behaviour, bullying etc and there are no such reports for the popular school.

I worry my DD will struggle wherever she goes and will the academic pressure of a 'good' school add to this?

So I guess my questions are:

How many schools did you visit?

What did you look for? What questions did you ask?

Did you choose the 'good' school for your children? if not, what were your reasons?

How many times did you visit your secondary school before choosing? Is it ok to visit more than once to a school? How many times is too many between now and October? I don't want them to think I'm crazy but I also know neither me or DD will be able to choose on one look.

@MattDillonsEyebrows

Such a difficult decision.
To answer the later questions first

No I didn't choose the 'good' school.
It wasn't a bad school by any means, just not the one everyone else was fighting to get into. Whilst I'm not a great fan of the academy system, it was one of the schools transformed by becoming an academy but people were still obsessed with its very poor pre academy reputation.
My factors where

• smallest secondary in the city - 500 kids as opposed to the 1500 elsewhere
• great rep for SEN, also lots of experience of children in or from care
• location

I only visited one school whilst I was considering options. I had visited another school for work reasons and spent a whole day there. It was our local catchment school and the one everyone wants. Its a great school but huge, I knew my son would just get lost there.

I went on a private visit ie not open evening, to the school I was favouring and knew within about 10 mins that it was the right place. It was very calm, even at lesson changeover, the SENCo was amazing, lots of staff had attachment training. ASD support excellent. In short they knew what they were doing. I do believe I burst into tears with relief.
I didnt take my son to visit because he had his heart set elsewhere which I knew wasn't right for him. He hated me for months but he got over it very quickly after he started.
If you are considering taking your daughter on visits I would go first on my own, narrow it down and let her see one or two. You could go to the open evening and then request a private visit, then take your DD.
Ask what transition plans they have. The school I chose visited him in his primary, trip to the school in term time and a week summer school.
I would also be looking at inclusivity - is it just words or do they live it. My sons school lived and breathed it, lots of kids did do well academically but they also looked at other things and encouraged them to achieve to their own potential.

Depending on your DDs level of need you should also consider any special schools in your area.
Focus on getting the right school and don't get bogged down in whether its mainstream or special.

Good luck, its such a hard decision

Thank you @Ted27
that’s really helpful advice. It is a minefield!

This may not be relevant to you as I obviously don’t know the extent of your DDs needs but it may help avoid the issues we’re now facing.

We only had a choice of 2 mainstream schools in our area and we chose the one that had the best reputation for SEN and the smaller school instead of the closer more popular school that all of his friends were going to. Like PO he wasn’t happy with the decision at first but they had a great transition program and he settled well for the first half term

The issue now is that like you the EHCP was not granted until part way through year 6 and after we had already applied for a school place. We didn’t then understand the extent of the support he would require but because we ‘named’ this school they are required to take him. We have only recently discovered that the school did an assessment and reported to the LA that they couldn’t meet his needs but we didn’t get that information. He is now really struggling and school are actually completely ill equipped to deal with trauma but the LA just keep saying it’s parental preference so they have to. They are now requesting waaay more funding than allocated and saying he can’t stay there if they don’t get it and just keep suspending him.

if we knew all this back then we would have considered a special school but it had never been considered that he wasn’t suited to mainstream secondary.

sorry this is long but long story short… if a specialist school is a viable option please consider it or you may end up stuck like us

@MattDillonsEyebrows

The other big factor to.consider is the way in which secondaries function - ie lots of different teachers, moving at the end of each lesson, having to carry your stuff around.

Lots of children manage ok in primary but find the secondary experience just too overwhelming in these very large schools

I'd look at Pastoral care and Behaviour policy and SEN support.

ideally good school-parent communication.
And a flexible approach to GCSE options.

Not quite the same but my sister-in-law had somewhat similar dilemna with my nephew who is autistic.

She arranged to meet with the SEN co-ordinator at the two different schools they were considering and asked quite specific questions along the lines of "what would happen if X had a meltdown in class?" She said it was soon obvious that one had only very vague answers whereas the other one had really good strategies in place.

He's now in the sixth form and seems very happy!

Have a look at this: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/adoptions/5373192-researching-schools-for-adopted-children

There is a lot of good information on there.

I would try to get a feel for pupils. Do they come across as kind, competitive, street smart? We did not pay specific attention to that the first time round and deeply regretted it. Like Ted, I would prioritise small schools and preferably with a similar vibe to your primary, if it exists.

My DS went to the high school that his primary school feeds into, I’m in Scotland so different system because kids are automatically assigned a place and parents can then chose a different school if need be. Things that influenced my decision was DS had a tight friendship group who were all moving to the same school so he had a lot of social support. I had a number of meetings with the high school - head of year, pastoral lead - and there was a very supported transition plan. Staff came to his primary school, they did tailored transition events, he was part of a nurture group for the last 3 months of high school that took place in the high school, summer school - they really supported transition.

That focus on transition has now turned into really good support now he’s there. He’s managed the transition well.

Things I’d look for are how staff speak about their pupils - anyone can talk about trauma informed care etc, but do they talk about the kids with care and respect, do they seem to value good relationships with the kids. What’s their discipline policy - is it shaming or supportive of kids, how do they engage with parents. How does the school feel, is it calm, does it feel safe or is it a bit chaotic. If you’re thinking about specialist provision really do your homework - I have way more difficulties with my Dads special school than with my DSs mainstream one.