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How did everyone else survive this Christmas?

4 replies

teekay88 · 02/01/2026 19:28

As much as we love our LOs, Im willing to bet most of us have found the school holidays pretty relentless with all the "parenting plus". Alongside some very happy, cosy and nice memories we have also had near constant arguing, backchat, over stimulation, dysregulatuon, the usual self sabotage of anything nice and the push/pull of needing us constantly one minute and then pushing us away the next. 6 years in always persevering with our attempt to therapeutically parent and things are gradually improving when I look back on previous years particularly since DS7 is now in a much better trauma informed specialist school suited to him. BUT I am exhausted, tearful and I have to admit been feeling quite resentful and jealous of other "typical" parents where your kids love for you is a taken for granted and doesn't feel like its always being pulled away from you.

Promise im not as downbeat as I perhaps sound. It's just a lot. Husband has ans probably always will be the favourite. Partly personality, partly trauma and the inevitable mental block caused by loss of birth mum which in my good days I entirely understand, but some days like today its hard not to feel excluded. Im default parent, take on a lot.of the mental load, am the one for emotional comfort but dont get much of the affection or interest back. Just a handgold really to see if anyone else has struggled this holiday and if anyone else is allowing themselves to wallow in a little irrational self pity this holiday?!

OP posts:
teekay88 · 02/01/2026 19:29

Sorry for typos im feeling a bit zombified 7 days in to the flu which probably explains the self pity party!!

OP posts:
SuperAunt08 · 02/01/2026 21:29

Yes totally get it. For us the run up to the Christmas holidays is always the worst part and have actually enjoyed the bit between Christmas and new year the most where the pressure is off and we can just ‘be’. Dreading the Monday back to school as it will take a while to settle back to routine.

Awumminnscotland · 03/01/2026 09:49

Thanks for posting. I totally relate to how you're feeling at the moment, especially about being the default parent but getting very little back in affection. I've been rereading a book on therapeutic parenting to try and improve my consistency.
I'm recognising the holidays are exacerbating everything but it's definitely got harder recently with dd being 10 now and heading towards puberty and questioning her lifestory at the same time.
It sounds like you're doing brilliantly persevering with Pace and therapeutic parenting.
I was just reflecting on how realistic it is for parents to consistently parent in what can feel intensely focused way to parent with children's whose needs are constant and impactful. It's extremely hard.
That's amazing that your child is in a trauma informed specialist school. I imagine that was a battle.

Seahorsesplendour · 04/01/2026 13:33

@teekay88 100% with you, our Christmas experience this year sound v similar!

good to hear things improving with school. We’ve made the difficult decision to pull our ds7 out of school as not suitable (EOTAS) rather than home ed for now.

EHCP in between draft & final state & just praying they accept our suggestion of special school as his current placement has completely broken down despite their & our best efforts.

you are not alone!!

we are finding DDP really helpful so might be worth exploring if you haven’t already!

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