Looking for advice.

[Countrygirl92]

Hello,

my husband and I are at the very start of the adoption process, we’ve just sent off our “registering interest “ forms.
At the same time I’ve completed my finance loan for a degree I would like to start in February.
I work in a school teaching emtional literacy to young children, therefore I would like to do a undergrad diploma in psychology in children. The end goal is to qualify as a play therapist.
studying will be part time (16hours) a week and have zero impact on my finances.
my question is, will this deter adoption agencies?
I understand I have to be stable financially which we are and I have to show I have the time and dedication to a new child. My plan would be to drop hours at work if we were blessed with another child so I can dedicate time to them.
Are there any families out there who have studied and applied to adopt at the same time? Should I defer my course for a year?

thank you for your time.

How long is the course?

@Arran2024 is right asking how long the course is. If it’s a year my suggestion would be to it first or do it alongside the adoption process before placement.

if it’s 2 or 3 years maybe decide which your priority is & I mean that in a nice way & commit to that path.

continuing to do it after placement would not (in my opinion) be either viable or sensible.

my DP did a 2 year course 3 years after placement, I had to pick up a lot of slack & it was hard but we managed it.

I'm currently part way through a 3 yr course which I’ve had to defer for a year due to significant developments with ds’s needs, we’re almost 8 years into placement.

being an adoptive parent is 100% the best and the most difficult thing I have ever done.

i’m currently sitting with a very over tired & dysregulated ds despite a whole day of physical & sensory regulating & connecting activities.

Horrible evening and unless we figure out what is driving it and manage to unpick that for him tomorrow we’ll likely be in the same position again tomorrow.

probably not the best night to be writing advice to prospective adopters so apologies for that but our kids need a lot, sometimes everything we have & more.

that needs to be your main consideration. It’s impossible to know the realities until you’re living them.

Sorry for the doom & gloom you caught me on an off night!! I’m gutted about my course even though I know it’s the right decision for ds!!

good luck with whatever you decide!!

we do have good times too!!

I think there’s a few things to consider. If you’re looking at an under grad degree and then art therapy you’re committing to a long course of study. Any course leading to a psychotherapy qualification is extremely emotionally demanding, because of the self reflective, self developmental nature of psychotherapy training. It inevitably brings up stuff you either never thought of or thought you had resolved. Bringing a traumatised child into that isn’t ideal by any means. I’d suggest you either adopt and then see if you’re in a position to train or train then adopt once you’re back in an even keel.

The adoption assessment process is very tough and self reflective in a different way to therapy training, sustaining both processes isn’t easy. It can be done, but you need a high degree of openness and a good support structure.

You said “another child”, which complicates things further because you’ll be bringing in a new child with a high level of need who will need your full focus, with an existing child who is used to you being available to them. Again, it’s possible but will make demands on you that you can’t imagine at this early stage.

On the positive art therapy can be a very flexible job which will stand you in good stead in many ways. I found having a part time therapy practice invaluable for flexible income when my kids were younger.

Id think things through and maybe have a 5 year plan for study and training and where adoption would fit in that process.

That’s good advice from @Jellycatspyjamas