Birth father risk and adult son

[notafancyusername]

My son has been spending some time with his birth father and half siblings. The birth father uses cocaine and keeps getting thrown out of his partners flat for his behaviour.
He then gets my son to walk around all night with him. He buys off a dealer in front of my son. I don't want him near him. I've asked police for advice .
Is there any chance the police will warn him to stay away ? My son has neurodisability and is vulnerable

@notafancyusername
I don't think I have any real advice for you, but didn't want to leave you feeling unsupported.
Its an incredibly difficult situation.
I think talking to the police is a sensible place to start. I would think a lot depends on whether you have for evidence for any criminal offence and if the police feel there is any coercion or is putting your son in danger.
Can you talk to your son about making safe choices ?

@notafancyusername

If your son is disabled do you still have a social worker? Is contacting adult safeguarding a route you could try ?

Hi OP,

As someone who's child tracked down their birth mother and half siblings a year ago - and who now we have in our lives, my advice would be to take the bull by the horns. I would phone the birth father and either meet him or discuss over the phone that the choices he is making is badly affecting your son. Tell him all your concerns and that you want him to have a healthy relationship with your son but this isn't it. Lay down your ground rules and what you want him to do re your son. I would also go back to post adoption and ask for therapy/help for your son in managing this. Your son could be feeling guilty/, responsible for his birth dad and the fact that he is ND will make it even harder for him to navigate his feelings in all of this.

But don't pussyfoot around birth dad - let him know that you are not a pushover and will not allow him to hurt or lead your son astray. Hopefully he will have some level of decency and will listen to you. Tell him if he does you will help him establish a good/healthy relationship with your son. Let him see it's worth his while to work with you in the best interests of your son.
I have had to do similar.

Best wishes xxx