How to navigate “bad influence” friends.

[Tinkaton]

Has anyone got any words of wisdom with how to navigate older kids/friends who you know are a bad influence. Our boy is 9 and he is desperate to be one of the big lads. How do you help nudge them towards “better” friends.

It depends on what they’re influencing. Usual kid carry on I’ve tended not to get involved too much, my DD has had some very tricky friends and we’ve talked about their behaviours and the impact on my DD, and I’m there to pick up the pieces.

Seriously harmful stuff I’ve held tight boundaries at home and the friendships have fizzled out when friends realise she won’t be on her phone at midnight, or my DD has distanced herself when she’s started to get in trouble at school. We talk a lot about good friendships, what they look like and who she wants in her circle. I never directly criticise the friend, more help her think through what does and doesn’t work for her.

Sorry but this is a losing battle. We cannot control our children's friends. They often gravitate to children we don't think are a good fit. My daughter is 27 now and has done this her whole life.

Thanks for the replies. We have tightened some boundaries over the weekend, which he’s outwardly vocal about, but he actually seems relieved.

I am finding this age hard to navigate.