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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Anyone sucessfully adopted from China when they already had other children?

21 replies

redthread · 28/05/2008 08:38

DH and I have been thinking about adoption from China for a few years. We contacted SS about 18 months ago but they said we wouldn't be considered due to the small age gap between dd2 and the adopted dc. DD2 is 2.6 now and we are starting to talk about it again.

Does anyone know if China would delay our application as we already have 2 dcs? I know they prefer childless couples but I don't know how much of an effect it would have.

DH and I have low fertility and have srtuggled to have the 2dcs we have. However, it is entirely possible that we could concieve naturally. If we did, I assume that SS would not recomend us for adoption. I am a bit unwilling to decide to never ever have another biological child in order to go through a stessful adoption procedure if China are unwilling to let us adopt due to having 2dcs.

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 28/05/2008 09:47

Having 2 DC's is not a bar to adopting from CHina - I can;t remember the maximum but I'm pretty sure it's more than 2. I'll checke for you.

However there are other restrictions - China have a weight and an age restriction which I can't recall offhand but if you think it might apply I can find out.

Have SS warned you about time frames for intercountry adoption? China in particular is very slow at the moment - about 5 years isn;t unrealistic, 3 years would be a minimum from application to bringing a child home and thats only if China speed up their processes significantly (which does happen from time to time and may happen after the Olympics).

YEs you are unlikely to be approved if you are pregnant or are actively trying to get pregnant.

Why China? Would you consider otehr countries? google overseas adoption centre - they have lots of literature that you can buy in pamphlet form so not too expensive.

Kewcumber · 28/05/2008 09:48

you will also need to consider very carefully the situation where you are bringing a singel child of a different ethnic orgin into an existing white family. Of course it has been done and succesfully but it can be difficult for the child as they grow up.

Kewcumber · 28/05/2008 09:52

The Chinese rules:

Adoption is limited to married couples, made up of a man and a woman, who fit the following criteria:

They must have been married at least two years. If either person has previously divorced, the couple must have been married at least five years. No more than two divorces are allowed.

Both partners must be between the ages of 30 and 50. Those couples who apply to adopt a special needs child must be between the ages of 30 and 55.

Both partners must be physically and mentally fit, with none of the following conditions:

a. AIDS;
b. Mental disability;
c. Infectious disease that is actively contagious;
d. Blind in either eye;
e. Hearing loss in both ears or loss of language function (those adopting children with hearing or language function loss are exempted from this requirement);
f. Non-function or dysfunction of limbs or trunk caused by impairment, incomplete limbs, paralysis or deformation;
g. Severe facial deformation;
h. Severe diseases that require long-term treatment and that may affect life expectancy, including malignant tumors, lupus, nephrosis, epilepsy, etc;
i. Major organ transplant within ten years;
j. Schizophrenia;
k. Severe mental disorders requiring medication for more than two years, including depression, mania, or anxiety neurosis;
l. Body Mass Index (BMI) of 40 or more

At least one member of the couple must have stable employment. The total value of family assets must be at least $80,000. The family?s annual income equals at least $10,000 for each family member in the household (including the child to be adopted). Annual income excludes welfare, pensions, unemployment insurance, government subsidies and the like.

Both prospective parents must be high school graduates or have vocational training equivalent to a high school education.

The family must have fewer than five children under the age of 18, and the youngest is at least one year old (those adopting special needs children are exempted from this requirement).

Neither partner may have a significant criminal record, and both must have a history of honorable behavior and good moral character with no evidence of:
a. Domestic violence, sexual abuse, abandonment or abuse of children;
b. Use of narcotics or any potentially addictive medication prescribed for mental illness;
c. Alcohol abuse, unless the individual can show she/he has been sober for at least ten years.

Note: Applications from persons with past criminal records will be considered on a case-by-case basis if the individual has fewer than three minor criminal convictions (none in the last ten years) and fewer than five minor traffic violations.

The prospective parents must demonstrate the ability to provide a warm family environment capable of meeting the needs of an orphaned child and providing for her/his development, and an understanding of the special risks (including potential diseases, developmental delays, and post-placement maladjustment) that could come with inter-country adoption.

The couple must provide an adoption application letter that makes clear the applicants? willingness to allow post-placement follow-ups and provide post-placement reports as required.

redthread · 28/05/2008 11:00

Thanks Kewcumber. We fit all the criteria plus we may consider a special needs child. I know that China classes children with minor 'fixable' problems such as heart murmur/cleft lip etc to be special needs.
We were looking at China as, although we are a mixed family, the dcs look more chinese than white so an ethnic chinese child would 'fit' with our family more than other ethnic groups. They also spend more time with the chinese side of the family and there are more of them in terms of aunties and cousins and grandparents who live locally.
5 years seems a really long time and would effectively rule out having another biological child as I would be getting on a bit by the time we adopted and spent a couple of years focussing on the new dd and hepling her bond and settle down etc.
I think I will have another talk with ss and think about where to go from here. My ideal situation would be to get the homestudy etc. underway, have another baby within the next 1-2 years then adopt in 5-6 years. That would give suitable gaps imo (dc3 4ish and dc4 1-2ish) but I know that SS won't go for it, they didn't want to talk to us when dd2 was 1 so def won't if I'm pregnant.

OP posts:
GrapefruitMoon · 28/05/2008 11:09

redhead, a relative of mine in the US has adopted two girls from China (separately) - they already had a dd. This was some time ago, when adoptions from there were just starting, so rules may have changed of course. I'm pretty sure they didn't have to wait 5 years back then.

They are based in the US and are involved in this organisation which supports families who have adopted in China and also raises money for the orphanages back there...

www.fwcc.org/

There may be some useful info there...

Kewcumber · 28/05/2008 11:12

Take a look at my profile - my DS is mixed race Kazakh/Russian. Kaz is much quicker though still around the 3yr mark but more expensive. Kyrgyzstan is also open for adoptions. Children are mostly central asian there, if you're familiar with China then I would say northern Chinese is closest macth for looks.

Its also relatively easy to get a mixed race/Central Asian child from Russia.

Obviously the cultural fit would be closer if your family already has strong China links but something for you to thin kabout if the wait for CHina is too long. I have also hear of Taiwanese adoptions but have a feeling they may be rare.

Kewcumber · 28/05/2008 11:14

I've just clocked what your MN name refers to Red thread! Doh! Should have spotted the HCina link

GrapefruitMoon · 28/05/2008 11:14

That website I linked to said 12-18 months to complete the whole process

GrapefruitMoon · 28/05/2008 11:15

Oops sorry - just spotted that i misread your name!

Kewcumber · 28/05/2008 11:21

They are lying grapefruit moon - it not uncommon for American agencies to be "optimistic" as its a highly competitive market over there. And thats also American and doesn't factor in the 1-2 yrs to get approved here.

I promise you the wair for a referral of a child from china is currently running at 3 yrs (plus up to 2 for approvcal here first). Contemporaries of mine who started on their adoption journey at the same time as me 4.5 years ago returned home with child 6 months ago and the matching process is getting longer not shorter.

GrapefruitMoon · 28/05/2008 11:28

It's not an agency Kewcumber - it's a website for an organisation set up by parents who have adopted from China themselves. But I know they have built up links with particular orphanages so maybe they can cut the waiting times because of that?

Kewcumber · 28/05/2008 11:36

no they can't speed up the process - the matching is done by central govt.

the reason for the delays are that for every months worth of people applying only half a months worth of matches are being made. This may well speed up again after the Olympics and as the effects of last years new restrictions reduce numbers applying but even befor ethe delay you would be unlikely to bring a child home in less than 3 years from application.

Kewcumber · 28/05/2008 11:45

its currently taking 4-5 months just to get clearance from DCFS alone, that doesn;t take into account how efficent your SS are at getting home study started and getting you a panel date but 1 year from application to panel approval is a reasonable benchmark with translations and legalisation/apostilling adding approximately another 3 months (optimistically). So thats 18-24 months in the Uk before your papers go to China.

Once LID (logged in date) in China you wait to be matched. People who were LID in Jan 2006 are expected to be matched in May 2008 and time frames are still expected to increase before they get better.

I'm not trying to put anyone off just being realistic.

redthread · 28/05/2008 12:21

I wouldn't be suprised if US adoptions were quicker due to the US end being quicker than the UK. I really don't mind waiting 5 years but I do mind not being able to get into the system until my youngest biological child is 2+. I know that an adopted child needs extra attention but I don't want a 6+ year gap between biological and adopted children. I feel that it will deny the adopted child the feeling of being part of a sibling group as she won't have the common experiences that the others have. Its like having a little gang and then and afterthought trailing along behind. I do accept that I may be being slightly precious about it though.

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 28/05/2008 12:27

no I think you're right (for what its worth) I think a good age gap is importnat and I think that menas as much not too big as not too small. I know some councils are more sympathetic to the length of time it takes and therefore will let you start early (IYSWIM) but it doesnt sound like thats the case with yours.

ninedragons · 28/05/2008 13:04

I think you have an excellent point, redthread. Doesn't sound precious at all, rather perfectly logical!

KristinaM · 29/05/2008 00:35

just to confirm that kewcumber is correct about timescale to adopt in Uk from China. the system is the US is different and you cant really compare the two

i would also second her suggestion to consider a child of chinese heritage from another country. will SS not consider you for domestic adoption for a child of mixed heritage??

MKG · 29/05/2008 01:42

I hope this helps, sorry it's long.

Have never adopted, but my mom just came back from volunteering in an Orphanage in China and is getting ready to go back full time.

During a conversation with a friend she was saying that it is getting more difficult to adopt from China and China is becoming more picky. She said that the government has realized that due to their one child law and the majority of children in an orphanage being girls, it is messing with the ratio of boys to girls (don't know it off the top of my head) China is becoming more selective and is taking more time to process foreign adoptions. They are also starting more state run orphanages where children have a living relative in the country meaning they cannot be adopted out. It's more of a group home.

I hope you get an adoption from there because the things my mom has told me will break your heart.

ninedragons · 29/05/2008 04:53

China's boy:girl birth ratio was 117:100 either last year or the year before (can't remember which).

redthread · 29/05/2008 08:14

I have heard that families with a boy are buying baby girls to raise as a wife for their son. Its cheaper than paying a dowry for an adult woman and the 'couple' will only have 1 set of parents to support instead of 2. Its barely disguised slavery.

OP posts:
KristinaM · 29/05/2008 14:15

redthread - just to clarify - you cannot start your home study and then get pg. as soon as you tell SS you are pg they will stop the home study immediately.if your papers are already at DCFS they will recall them and you will pretty much be back to square one. I dont know what the situation would be if your papers were already in china

the approval is for your family situation the way it was when you went to panel. if there is a big change, such as the birth of another child or a seperation/divorce, they will argue that you need a new home study

basically they will not let you run two options concurrently - TTC or assisted conception treatment and adoption. you need to do them sequentially

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