Relationship with sister didn’t work out.

[JohnsShirt]

I was adopted at birth, I found out when I was 17 that I had a younger brother and sister.
I had no way of finding them so I didn’t really think of them much

I'm now 47, and last year my sister, ten years younger, got in touch.
I was really excited to get to know her, and have a sister!
It became clear early on that we were very different and she's not conflict averse, but she's my sister so I kept on.

It all came to a head in May, but I should have done it sooner.
She doesn't like me, I think she's had fantasies of who I am for years, and I don't meet her expectations so she treated me terribly.

I'm sad it happened, I'm sad she treated me badly.

@JohnsShirt

Im sorry it didnt work out with your sister.
Its very difficult to establish these relationships as adults with big age gaps.
I imagine you have had very different life experiences.
Its not your problem that you didn't meet her expectations, the idea of a fantasy sibling is very hard to live up to.
Its understandable that you feel sad about it. Maybe some counselling to come to terms with the whole idea of having a sister and the relationship not working out?
I think you will be experiencing a form of grief. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to come to terms with it all.
I hope you have some real life support but do keep posting here if you need to.
Take care x

Im sorry. My girls have two older half siblings, who werent adopted like they were - they went into foster care. They stayed local while my girls moved down south to live with us.

We had letterbox contact but it had to come to an end when the girls turned 18. So we decided to connect in person.

Eight years on and my younger daughter wants nothing to do with them. She felt they treated her like a baby and that they didnt listen to her. Of course she was a baby last time they saw her!

It's difficult to reconnect. It isn't always a happy ending sadly xx