Looking to connect with single adoptive parents / aspiring single adoptive parents

[Ladybug777]

Hello, I am rather new here and I am hoping to connect with people who have adopted (a) child(ren) as a single adoptive parent (or people who are somewhere on this incredible journey).

I am happily single, have always wanted to be a mum, and have always considered adoption as a strong possibility for me.
I have just started to contact adoption agencies and attend information sessions, hence it's still early days, however it seems to unearth a lot more questions and concerns than I thought, and I would be very interested in talking to other parents / aspiring parents who are going / have gone through this experience without a partner / co-parent.

More broadly, I would welcome advice and guidance from any adoptive parents/families when it comes to choosing an agency - so far I have spoken to Coram, PACT and Adopters For Adoption.
I am based in Greater London for context.

Thank you in advance!

Hey, I’m a single adopter and happy for you to message me. I adopted in Scotland through a local authority so can’t help with agencies though I’m afraid.

Hi @Ladybug777

Im a single adopter but adopted 13 years ago so wouldn't really want to advise about agencies.
Advice in general, focus on the following

Work - how flexible is your job, how family friendly is the organisation. What is the adoption leave policy.

Finances - Can you afford to take a year off. And returning to work- could you afford to go part time?
Childcare - its hideously expensive, what are your thoughts/plans?

Age of child - apart from not being that interested in babies, the main reasons why I adopted an older child was the cost of childcare and I wanted to work, part time at least.
Support network- everyone will bang on about this and it is important. However it will change when you adopt, you find your tribe of people who get it.

Before I adopted I had a very small network who have for the most part stayed with me. I did lose one friend along the way. I do however now have a huge network of fellow adopters and parents of children with ASD, some of it real life but a lot online.

Expectations- what do you see life looking like. Partly linked to age of child. I know lots of people have babies, return to work with kids in childcare. I've seen friends run themselves ragged trying to have it all. I didnt want that. What an adopted child really needs most is your time and energy. Working part time with a school age child was a good balance for me. Im not judging other people's decisions, adopters or otherwise, but it made no sense to me to go through the whole adoption process and end up seeing my child for a couple of hours a day after work. It just wasn't my idea of being a mum
You also need to be be very open with your ideas of what's good/postive or not. The school with the not very good ofsted may be a lot better for your child than one which is academically outstanding. My son went to special school and then two not very popular mainstream schools. He's now at university.
Success for your child may look very different to your friends children.
Im sure there's lots more but I need go crack on with stuff.
Happy to answer questions

I am a single adopter eight years in, so very much in the thick of it. Happy for you to message me.

Thank you very much All!
I will send private messages indeed, I really appreciate your time.

@Ted27 thank you very much for your guidance. I have been considering adoption for many years and have indeed sorted my work situation and finances. With regards to the age of the child, I am open to different scenarios at this stage of the process, the challenges vary depending on the age of the child and that is also why I am looking to connect with people who can share their experience. It is all both exciting and daunting :)