It felt normal

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Last night I got an invite to a baby shower. Not that unusual . However this was from the older half sibling of our younger 2 adopted sons. She had remained in care when we adopted them aged 8 nd 6. She had told social workers she wanted to stay with her foster parents, so we adopted our sons with an agreement for 4x a year contact ( we live 100 miles away) as she got older contact increased, she would come and stay for weekends and went on holidays with us . As our sons got older and she was given her own flat we would drop them in to stay with her for a night ( staying in a hotel near by)
She invited us to her wedding. Brought her children down to stay with us for the odd weekend.
I encouraged her as she went back to education, did a degree and now works in a professional job. She knew she could phone if she wanted support ( their birth mother had died when they were in their teens)
Her marriage broke down but she has a lovely new partner and is having a baby soon.
I asked was she sure she wanted me at the baby shower . Her reply was "of course,it felt normal to ask you ,you have been in my life 20 odd years,encouraged me,I describe you to my friends as my brothers mother - I haven't asked any of my birth uncles or cousins -uou have been there for us "
Our open adoption has worked out well .she is part of our ever growing family -came to her brother's wedding with her new partner and teenagers( stayed with us the night before) and is very much part of our lives . Her oldest child is doing A levels and is coming with her friend to do stay to do London later in the summer .
So for those contemplating an adoption with contact with a sibling,take encouragement, it can be enriching and can lead to many unexpected places!

Thanks so much for sharing your story really lovely to hear

How lovely. We reconnected with our girls' older half sisters post 18. They had gone into foster care. One became a nurse, the other a nursery manager. We went to the wedding of one of them, then her baby shower. We see them quite often. But it has not been straightforward and one of my daughters has broken off all contact.

It's lovely to read such a positive story. We have sibling contact but it has ups and downs so it's nice to hear that it has worked well for your family.

Fabulous story.

So the baby has been born ! A second biological nephew to our youngest two sons and a 2nd nephew from their older adopted brothers . They also have a biological neice and a neice through adoption. I just sent our youngest two sons sister some money ( I had already sewn a cross stitch card) sending money by BACs I was asked purpose of money .eg sending to a friend/family etc I ticked family because in this crazy world of what is a family ,,their older non adopted sister who stayed in care is like a member of our family as is the young Nepalese student who lived with us for 10 years and whose kids call us granny and grandad . As Mrs Doubtfire said " there are many types of family what is important is that children know they are loved and there are adults who will be there for them "