BM making application to revoke placement order

[Sunshinemoose]

Hello,

I don’t know if anyone will be able to advise but I started day 2 of transitions with little one today and this afternoon, myself and my little one’s foster carer received a phone call from the team of social workers (my sw, the child’s sw and the family finder) to say that they had received notice from their legal department today that birth mum has made a last minute application to revoke the placement order due to a change in her circumstances.

The social workers have advised that we can’t continue formal introductions until after a hearing has taken place. They have asked the court for an urgent hearing given the stage of the process we’re at but have been honest and said that it could take weeks depending on how busy the courts are.

The phone call was such a shock to both me and the foster carer that I couldn’t really think about what I needed to ask. Can anyone advise as to if this has happened to them and what I need to be asking/finding out?

All three social workers said that this often happens when adopters go to apply for the adoption order but that none of them have experienced this with a placement order especially so late in the day when introductions have already begun!

I really sympathise with birth mum’s situation as it must be awful but I can’t help feeling like it is so unfair for this is happening at such a late stage (the placement order was granted 8 months ago) and when myself and the little one have already started bonding.

We had a similar delay (no details for obvious reasons), although thankfully a week or so before intros.
For us, the delay was just under a month but it was essentially the summer holidays and everyone was on holiday. Was a very very stressful few weeks.

Its very hard but all you can do is hold your nerve.
Ask if you’re allowed any contact with foster carers, so you can at least be kept updated on how LO is doing.
Also, contact your social worker regularly - sounds horrible but if they know your case is on hold for a while, they focus on more priority work and can forget to follow up things or update you.

We booked a last minute week away as a distraction during the wait, and kept busy - my house had never been so clean.

It’s horrible but the best thing you can do is focus on the positive this is for LO (to be told BM tried at least) and that the system is doing its job, but 💐 for you OP, because it’s horrible to experience.

Thank you for responding- it is somewhat comforting to know that someone has at least been in a similar position as all everyone keeps telling me is that it’s super rare at this point in the process!
I completely understand and respect you not wanting to give away any details but I’m guessing that there was a favourable outcome for you as adopters?
Thank you again

Just to reassure you this also happened to us. Just before transitions but annoyingly it was before Christmas so getting a court date took 7 weeks so our transitions were delayed by about 5 weeks in the end. We still continued to don”play dates” as friends of the foster carers in the interim which helped and I also had a girlie weekend in between which I originally wasn’t going to be able to go on. Try to stay calm. It is extremely rare for a placement order to be revoked. Good luck, keep us updated x

Hey, yes, favourable outcome for us here. The application from birth family member went nowhere - social services did their checks and concluded that while things had changed a little, it wasn't enough and hadn't been sustained for more than a week or two so was unlikely to be something they could rely on continuing.

Application was denied in what what apparently a very short hearing in court and social services pushed things through with us as fast as they could after that. I think it was about a week between confirming we could go ahead and intros starting.

Stay calm, birth parents have a right to contest and to some degree this far down the line they are trying to use what very little control they have left.

it is very unlikely anything will have changed for the position to change, but they have a right to be heard.

we where very much in a rush on reflection, wanted to get to know our little one, wanted the home…. But now I look back and wished we had just gone with the flow.

you as the adopter can’t really control any of it, so just be very kind to yourself and save your energy for when it happens as the world turns upside down when they arrive. The last thing you need is to be shattered from worrying.

This also happened to us. It was during Covid and lockdowns so for this reason it caused significant disruption time wise, but it all ended fine for us in the end. I remember though how overwhelming and shocking it was at the time. There’s good advice from others here, take care