Herr is my email. I got an automated response, so it's arrived!
Hello
A link to complete this survey was posted on mum's net yesterday, in the Adoption section, and I started to complete it.
And it is appalling - how could this ever have been approved?
Firstly, it makes huge mistakes in knowledge of the adoption process. As far as I know, households of three people cannot adopt. And no one is allowed to check out children in foster care, never mind ask if they would like to be adopted. The approval process is long winded and everything is managed by the LA, which does not allow random strangers to go round looking at children.
Secondly, it said that we would randomly be given one of 7 scenarios but we all got the polyamorous set up.
Thirdly, the questions about how the children would cope do not differentiate between the effects of early trauma, genetic inheritance, intra womb experience like foetal alcohol or drugs, attachment difficulties, identity issues - all of which are massive in adoption - and the issues living with a polyamorous set of parents. I assume that the adoption angle is actually of zero interest, given the rest of the questions, which drop any pretence of being about adoption and are all about attitudes to sex.
I am astonished that this was passed. I see that it has been removed from mum's net but I am concerned that (a) it was ever approved and (b) that it is still out there, unchecked.
FYI, adoption is a complex business and people using it as the subject of any work should be very confident that they understand the issues before steaming in with poorly understanding. For what it's worth, children need huge amounts of security from the adults in their lives. A couple could adopt, and I have known people adopt with say a parent living in the same house, but I believe that a three-way relationship would be incredibly challenging for all concerned.