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Original poster

Nervous about Short Transition Period

10 replies

TemTop · 29/04/2025 00:14

What has your experience been settling in an 18 month old after transition period, and how are they doing now?

We are adopting an 18 month old, who has had the same FC since birth, so is very attached! It a HUGE blessing for him that he has had a secure and healthy connection, but I because she is unwell, we are having a very short transition, only a week. We have seen him everyday for 4 days, and had some really lovely times, and he came to see our place, his new home, for the first time today, and was clingy to his FC.

I'm worried about watch him experience the trauma, and seeing how he will cope. I know long term, we are doing the best for him, and he is going to be so loved and nurtured, but worried about how we will all cope.

Please share your tips for helping him feel safe and settled, and any useful resources. Thank you! 🤗

OP posts:
Emog21 · 29/04/2025 09:02

We had a short transition period with a 2 year old amd 6 month old. It was 6 days of transitions. It was full on and complicated by the fact they were in different foster placements. But it worked OK and our two seemed to settle quickly, we just threw ourselves into it! We had a very solid timetable which we stuck to which built up the time they were with us each day. I found it hard being in the foster carers home, they were lovely but it is always awkward being in some one else's home. Once they started coming to our house I felt much more relaxed. I think the best thing you can do for him is keep things the same as much as possible initially e.g. food, toys, clothes, bedding etc. My two came with quite a lot 'stuff' which we integrated into our home. Then the changing of things happened organically and over time.

(And a word of advice to anyone doing this, don't just put the post code in your sat nav and forget to take a note of the house number, learn from our experience!)

FloppySarnie · 29/04/2025 09:54

I adopted 9 years ago and at that time, in my area at least, all intros were a week long. The only exception to this was older children (I’m thinking 6+) where it was two weeks. The week worked well for us and we had no issues at all. Looking back, I can’t believe it was so fast (and we didn’t even have bump in meetings beforehand) but our LO settled in very well and we didn’t have any problems (and still don’t).
Good luck!

Jellycatspyjamas · 29/04/2025 11:47

It’s normal that he’d be clinging to a known carer in a new place. If you and the carer are in your house with him let the foster carer show him around/explore. Do things the three of you together, so games etc where he can see you both engaged with him.

He’s going to be upset, and that will show in lots of different ways, try to have a structured routine each day so he can begin to predict what’s coming next. Lots of walks or park time to burn off adrenaline, lots of comfort too.

Arran2024 · 29/04/2025 13:06

It's appropriate for him to be upset. It's kids who seem completely happy that you need to worry about. You just need to tune into his distress and help him with it. Don't try to rationalise it away or get distressed yourself and you will be OK.

twentyninestory · 29/04/2025 17:44

Just some reassurance, we had a very short transition (2 one hour meet ups in public and then straight to moving in) and things are fine!

Agree with the advice here with routines and familiar things! Try not to overthink. Lots of sensory play, nursery rhymes and cuddles. And get yourself a takeaway or two!!

Wishing you all the best 💛

Bestfadeplans · 29/04/2025 20:14

twentyninestory · 29/04/2025 17:44

Just some reassurance, we had a very short transition (2 one hour meet ups in public and then straight to moving in) and things are fine!

Agree with the advice here with routines and familiar things! Try not to overthink. Lots of sensory play, nursery rhymes and cuddles. And get yourself a takeaway or two!!

Wishing you all the best 💛

Oh wow, that was quick. Was it during covid?

twentyninestory · 29/04/2025 20:41

Surprisingly no, just unusual circumstances! We were definitely thrown in at the deep end but you do just figure things out as you go.

Original poster
TemTop · 29/04/2025 22:28

twentyninestory · 29/04/2025 20:41

Surprisingly no, just unusual circumstances! We were definitely thrown in at the deep end but you do just figure things out as you go.

Wow, that is SO short! How old were they at the time? My main concern is that our LO has had the same FC since birth, so is like a mum to him! I expect him to be a bit distressed, although he is getting used to us very well!

OP posts:
Original poster
TemTop · 29/04/2025 22:30

Thank you so much for the advice and well wishes. He spent time with us alone today, and was absolutely amazing! I imagine when he stays over for the first time, and starts missing his FC that he will struggle. But we have lots of toys and his favourite blanket, and he is responsive to cuddles and playfulness 🙌🏾

OP posts:
twentyninestory · 30/04/2025 11:16

They were 2 and had been in placement for a long while too. We were anxious but LO was so excited and happy to meet us and move!

Pleased to hear things went well yesterday, soak it all in!!

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