Solo adopters: what did your finances look like when you adopted?

[rihanna4]

Hello Mumsnetters - are any solo adopters willing to share how much they were earning, had in savings, had in investments, owed as debt, rough age and needs of the child(ren) you adopted, etc at the point at which they were approved at panel?

I’m trying to assess how much more saving I need to do before I start the process.

Would love to hear from solo adopters who went to panel in the last 5 years as the economic climate prior to then was quite different, I’d say.

Thanks in advance!

@rihanna4

I was 47 when my son came home, he was nearly 8, at special school but doing well.
I had a decent, though not high level civil service job. Had a mortgage and a personal home loan, a chunk of credit card debt ( I lost equity in my previous home in the 80s property crash)
No investments, a few thousand savings.
What I did have was an excellent adoption leave package which meant I could have a full year off.
I was intending to go back to work 4 days a week but my son was given an adoption allowance which are very hard to get now.
He also had DLA which meant I was entitled to some tax credits.
All this meant I could drop to 3 days a week and still have an overall income which was a little bit more than my full time salary.
I did however spend huge amounts on things like swimming and tennis lessons and a personal trainer for my son. This sounds quite frivolous but he should have been getting occupational therapy which never materialised so paying for sports and trainers was a way of replacing that.
Personally I think you need to be able to fund a years adoption leave and be in a position to work part time. Don't be afraid to claim benefits. Your earnings level may exclude you from Universal credit but if your child receives DLA you may qualify for some.
We've had a comfortable if far from extravagant life. I went back up to 4 days a week when he was 15.
I'm 60 this year, little boy is now 21 and off at university. Financially I'm OK, the house is a wreck because I've don't minimal maintenance over the last 13 years so will be addressing that. I still don't have any savings to speak of buy have an OK pension.

Thanks for sharing this Ted. Did your SW have any concerns about your personal loan and credit card debt?

I don’t feel I’ll be comfortable brining a child home until I have paid off my mortgage completely, saved for 6 months’ adoption leave (the other 6 months being covered by my employer if I stay with my current company) + an emergency fun in case I lose my job or anything else goes wrong (£50k…?) + the first year’s worth of nursery costs (£20k as I’m in London). This means I’ll be saving for many years to come before I can adopt.

I’m trying to assess whether I’m being excessively cautious. Lots of friends are telling me to just get on with it and cross financial bridges when they come, but it’s so different when you’re solo and are solely responsible for everything.

@rihanna4

How many people do you think are mortgage free, and have £70k in savings before they have a family?

Its perfectly normal to have a mortgage or rent, most people have cars to fund. I didn't and still don't have a car so that balanced out the personal loan.
The point is that I could afford the level of debt I had.
I did change my job just after I started the process, I had a 25% pay rise and the adoption package.
If you start now you could be one to two years away from bringing a child home. You can be saving during that time
If you are worried about nursery costs then maybe think about a school age child. Apart from the fact that I'm not that fussed about babies, child care costs were my primary consideration in adopting a school age child.
My other top tip for surviving adoption leave is to stash 6 months worth of non perishable groceries, toiletries etc. Makes a huge difference to your shopping bill. I also kitted myself out with 'mum clothes' whilst I was still earning. Pre child I wafted about in Monsoon's finest. Never wore jeans. Not practical. So I sorted my clothes our, got a decent winter coat, the sort you can hang around in the park in. You get the idea
Do an audit of your current life, what do you spend your money on- what will change when you have a child. Come up with a budget.
Of course you are absolutely right to be thinking through the financial implications but yes personally I think you are being excessively cautious. I'd just crack on.

I think the majority of people who have children have a partner. If there are two of you, unless your mortgage vs income ratio is very squeezed, your above question doesn’t need to be a showstopper as there are 2 potential earners in the household. If I lose my job and can’t pay my mortgage, I would lose my home.

I’d consider taking out insurance to protect your income against job loss or long term sickness. That’s much more realistic than being mortgage free.

I’m now a single parent, I wasn’t when I adopted. The main thing is to be living within your means and have enough room in your budget - either by income or savings - to be able to flex your working arrangements. At the moment if you lost your job your home would be at risk, I know it feels different when you’re also responsible for a child but you can’t control everything that life throws at you, you can only plan for uncertainty as far as possible.

Most people will have housing costs when they adopt and the reality is things happen. I remember us having to replace all of our kitchen white goods literally the day our kids arrived. Luckily we had an emergency fund (nowhere near £70k) so we could buy what was needed.

I think you’re being overly cautious. If you start the process now you’re still a good 18 months or more before you bring a child home. Even if they’re very young by the time you’ve had a years adoption leave they’ll qualify for help with nursery fees. You have time to save as much as possible and I echo @Ted27s suggestion of stocking up on non-perishables while you’re working.

No social worker is going to be concerned at a single parent having a mortgage or some manageable debt - most people have both.

I think I'd agree with your friends that you're being overly cautious. The problem with becoming a parent is that money, wisdom and jobs with more generous packages come a couple of decades too late. So instead you just need to find the point where you're emotionally ready and life is stable enough and then take the plunge.

I am a solo adopter approved in the last 5 years (just!).

The positives to my financial position were:
-salary was a bit above national average
-worked in an industry where my skills are always in massive demand
-had an okay adoption leave package
-owned home with smallish amount left on the mortgage, my monthly repayments weren't huge
-I don't live very extravagantly so wouldn't need to make big adjustments to lifestyle if my circumstances changed
-no debt other than mortgage

The vulnerabilities were:
-single income
-I had a run of real bad luck just as the process was starting which ate through most of my savings (I had to buy a new car and re-roof the house among other things!!). Was left with about £6k, although this had increased to about £16k by the time my oldest came home.

That's just to give you an idea of my situation. If worst came to absolute worse and I lost my job and couldn't find a new one (unlikely) or my child couldn't cope with school and I ended up having to home-ed or similar then I don't know what I would have done, but I'd have made it work. I had some savings, I would have claimed benefits, drawn on my support network etc.

As it was my youngest child (also adopted) is very severly disabled and so working a typical job just isn't possible due to special schools having no wrap around care/no other childcare would accept her, and she has a rediculous amount of appointments and hospital stays. I now work a very small number of hours for the organisation I was already with doing quality assurance type stuff and I claim benefits. It's not always easy and it's definitely not lavish but it's 100% worth it. I'd save as much as you can, get in the best postition you can be and look at proceeding.

I don't think it's necessarily a lot easier financially if you are in a couple
I have a three bed terrace house, it's my second home, haven't moved for 30 years
If I had a partner would we be in bigger house with a bigger mortgage ? Probably
The reality for many adoptive families is that often one person ends up going part time or giving up work so you are just as vulnerable financially. The divorce rate amongst adopters is quite high. Again leaves you open to financial issues.
I think aiming for both a high level of savings and being mortgage free is just too much, unless you have a tiny mortgage with only a few years left to run, or you are a very high earner with a tiny mortgage.
Maybe aim for one or the other.
There are lots of things you can do to mitigate risk. Fix your mortgage so you have certainty, maybe extend it to reduce your outgoings, make sure your mortgage allowed for mortgage holidays, take out the income protection policies.
On the whole I've found adopters to be very reluctant to claim benefits. The number of people unaware of DLA - which is one of those gateway benefits which can bring you into tax credits and access other things cheaply or free.
Remember that if our kids were is foster care they would be costing LAs thousands a month, claiming UC for a few years is nothing.
The thing is you cannot eliminate all risk. All you can do is put sensible things in place.

Whenever I have doubts about my decision to go ahead as a single adopter, I think of an average single parent… Would they have a fully paid off mortgage? Would they have £50k saved for emergencies? In 99.9% of cases, far from it. And no one is expecting this of you either.

Apart from finances, the whole process towards being approved as an adoptive parent - the awareness of therapeutic parenting etc and the practice of self reflection you will acquire - will place you head and shoulders above many parents, from the outset. Your conscientiousness will stand you in good stead looking ahead, but do not let it hold you back from getting going with it altogether.

I am a single adopter. The hardest time financially for me was returning to work on 50% hours and having to fork out for childcare and commuting on a reduced salary. The year of adoption leave was far easier as a lot of it was on full pay and outgoings were far lower.

So it's good to look at costs long term and consider different possibilities, e.g. what will you do if you have to give up your job. I don't think I am particularly extreme case, but I cannot imagine working full time again as my child wouldn't cope, and I find it difficult even balancing the needs of my child (age 9) around a school hours job as my child is no longer in full time education. We will be moving house later this year as we have finally found a school that suits his needs - but it's nowhere near us. Financially I am doing fine, in spite of what on the surface of it looks like a fairly dire situation, and that is thanks to having a reasonably well-paid job that is flexible enough to accommodate all this plus a top up of DLA due to my son's additional needs. My mortgage is in striking distance of being paid off only now, and I went in to adoption with just a few thousand in the bank and no additional debt. This has stood me in good stead for the last eight years with the only pinch point being nursery costs. I agree with your friends. I think you are being excessively cautious. It's good to think things through, but you will never know quite what is coming your way.

It's one of those how long is a piece of string questions though with so much dependent on your incomings against your outgoings; your plans to return to work and the contingency plans you might need to put in place if you can't return to work in the way you wanted to. And then stack that all up against the life you want to have. Will you be expecting to never return to work? Do you want to fund expensive hobbies and luxury holidays for yourself and your child or will you cut your cloth with the resources available.

Are you intending to adopt a preschool child, and have you looked a childcare costs? That's the one thing I would have paid more attention to if I was doing this all again.

Thank you all for your detailed replies

I didn't have any savings and I'm self employed so my wages are up and down. Small amount of debt.

Sw never seemed overly bothered.