Bedroom

[Hippocalipo]

I've been matched with a 6 month old. I've got a spare room (housing some wardrobes with out of season clothes and a desk) I'm wondering if I should keep baby in with me, as in my bedroom, not my bed. Its a really large room with lots of space. Or should I sort out the spare room for them? The social worker hasn't been much help on this, she says they sleep in foster carers bedroom, however they've given me lots of wrong information so far and the videos I've seen of baby in a cot is definitely not in an adults bedroom, so not sure if its true.

The Lullaby Trust says that a baby should sleep in the same room as their adult for the first six months to prevent SIDS. Foster carers tend to follow guidelines to the letter, as they are being watched so carefully, but if the baby is six months they may have been recently moved to their own room. You will be able to check this out when you meet with the foster carers.

Whether you have the baby in the room with you or not, you need to get the room ready and consider that the baby's room now. It's not 'spare' any more. Once you have the baby with you, you will wish that you had done all the organising you could ahead of time. The baby will need it sooner or later so it makes sense to do it now, and the only question is whether the cot will be in their room or in with you.

My son came to me at 12 months and was in his own room, so he went straight to his own room at my house. However, there was a sofa bed in his room, so if he was going through a rough patch with sleep and needed me around, I would sleep in his room, rather than him in mine. I once tried bringing him into my bed when he wouldn't settle and he just screamed all the more as he wasn't used to it. By having the two of us in his room, I never had to go through a stage of transitioning him to his room from mine. It was much easier to transition myself out. This is something to consider if you have the space at your house in the baby's room. If the baby has recently been moved from the FC bedroom to their own room and is about to move to your house, it feels like putting them in your room for a short time and then moving them again is probably too much moving. Some baby's will sleep anywhere, but for our children, they go through so much change without being able to fully comprehend what is going on, so better to keep as much as possible the same where you can.

It's also possible that the baby has started napping during the day in the baby's own room at the foster carer's but still sleeps in the FC's room at night, which might explain the mismatch between what you have seen and what you have been told.

Thats very true. I'm meeting foster carer on Friday, so I'm hoping I'll find out a lot more regarding their routines.

So anxious about not making the wrong decisions. I've got all the tackle ready to go and I've sorted through the clothes in the wardrobe, ready to go to the charity shop. Just don't want to set stuff up in the wrong room.

Thank you for the replies btw. Didn't think anyone would this late.

We adopted a 6 month old. He had been with foster carers from a few days old and was in their room. When he came to us he had his own room and a cot bed. However, he was tiny and still in a moses basket at FC. We borrowed the moses basket and put it in the cot bed at the start and gradually transitioned to naps in cot bed and sleep in the moses basket in the cot bed until he was a bit more used to things. My husband also had to rig up the complicated mobile that had been on the basket to exactly the right height in the cot bed so that little one could reach it!

I'm a SAHP so did most of the night and early morning feeds. It was a killer so if I was doing it again I think I'd have put a mattress in baby's room and slept in there or kicked hubby out and had little one in with me!

We did lots of cuddles, feeds and stories in the morning in our bed which were great for building a bond as a family. FC aren't allowed to take children into their bed but you can as an adopter. Our now 7 year old definitely sees our room and bed as an extension of his!! Sleep and separation anxiety are ongoing challenges for us so whether our approach early on was the right one, we will never know but we've always tried to do what feels best for our family.

Congratulations. In your position I'd put the baby in with us. I have an older child and they slept in our room until they were 1 (mainly for safe sleep reasons plus I was breastfeeding) but we hope to adopt a child around 6 months old and I would keep them with us until they are around 1 as well.