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Original poster

Would this stop us adopting?

9 replies

AlanTitsmarsh · 01/01/2025 11:12

DH has a past drink driving office that happened 15 years ago. It was from the morning after the night before. He was young and stupidly didn't do the 'safe driving' course afterwards. Had a fine and temporary driving bad.

No other offences except 3 licence points after going too fast on a road he thought was 40mph (it was 30mph). This was 7 years ago.

I'm worrying myself sick over it.

OP posts:
Original poster
AlanTitsmarsh · 01/01/2025 11:13
  • driving ban
OP posts:
Arran2024 · 01/01/2025 12:35

Hi. I know someone who stole a motorbike and was still able to adopt.

But he was grilled extensively about it and had to do a lot to persuade sws that he was a changed person. He had to own what he did and how he learned from it.

He was of course able also to show that he had life experiences which could help with a traumatised child who might get into trouble with the police.

Thing is, what is your partner's drinking like now? And would he take to drink if stressed?

You need to get all your ducks in a row on this issue before you approach sws. Imo the issue of his alcohol intake and decision making around it will be a much bigger issue than the conviction itself x

GracieHC · 01/01/2025 12:52

No experience if this kind of thing but I’d very much doubt it would be an issue. Just be open about it and reflective. In my experience what they love the most is that you show you’ve learned from your mistakes and that you weren’t afraid to ask for help when the going got tough.
I know I did my share it idiotic things when young as I’m sure a lot of other people have too.

Original poster
AlanTitsmarsh · 01/01/2025 14:34

Thank you both so much for your replies!! I really do appreciate it.

@Arran2024 neither of us really drinks except the odd drink on a weekend so there isn't a drinking problem. Even 15 years ago when this happened it was more a case of being young and social drinking whilst clubbing, rather than for example drinking alone. Then being stupid enough to drive the next morning. I was more worried about the conviction side. I believe it is classed as a spent conviction now but not sure whether this matters. I don't think it shows on a DBS check anymore but assuming it is declared via forms we have to fill in? I am still learning about what to expect from the process.

OP posts:
Arran2024 · 01/01/2025 17:51

No convictions are spent when it comes to enhanced DBS checks so you will have to declare it. But if you explain things, it may be fine. Thing is not to hide it, not to get angry or defensive when they quiz your other half about it. Position it as a life lesson. Often they will use sth like this to see if you are easily angered so be very patient re all the questions. They may ask his GP about his drinking. Your references may be quizzed. He might have to do a course. Just go along with it.

Needaholiday21 · 01/01/2025 19:04

As long as you declare it and there isn't a bigger issue with drinking I doubt this will impact you adopting. I know adopters that have similar and worse things than this and got through the process

Jellycatspyjamas · 02/01/2025 11:34

It will come up on your checks, so remember to disclose it when you’re completing your DBS. They’ll ask him about what was happening at that time in his life, and about attitudes to alcohol now (which they’ll ask anyway because of the profile of children who come to adoption). Be honest about it and if he can show he’s reflected on it, you’ll be fine.

Thedandyanddude · 06/01/2025 12:32

My social worker told me they'd had a couple apply where one had a drink driving ban, which was quite recent and they paused the process for 6 months to see if it was an ongoing issue. Which it wasn't and the couple were able to adopt.

Thedandyanddude · 06/01/2025 12:33

Arran2024 · 01/01/2025 17:51

No convictions are spent when it comes to enhanced DBS checks so you will have to declare it. But if you explain things, it may be fine. Thing is not to hide it, not to get angry or defensive when they quiz your other half about it. Position it as a life lesson. Often they will use sth like this to see if you are easily angered so be very patient re all the questions. They may ask his GP about his drinking. Your references may be quizzed. He might have to do a course. Just go along with it.

No but they are filtered within a certain time frame. I had 3 convictions which didn't show up on my dbs.

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