Social services help

[ByPeachFish]

my autist son injured his baby brother which social services are trying to pin on me the case was supposed to end august but we finally have a date of feb I have done everything right done courses and contact visits which are now supervised by family but I feel useless anyone who has been in a similar situation please can you give me advice as I feel like it is never going to end

Hi @ByPeachFish , your current situation sounds so stressful, I hope you and your children are doing okay under the circumstances. This forum is mostly used by adoptive parents, sadly there aren't many birthparents or adult adoptees here so I'm not sure if there will be someone who has had a similar experience to you.

When you talk about the case in Feb is that a fact finding or is it a different hearing?

To share my experience my (adoptive) daughter was observed by a professional to have bruising on her face as a baby, unfortunately despite bruising on a non-mobile being a 'red flag' nothing was done other than a phonecall to birth parents to check everything was okay. Birth parents continued to harm my daughter and now due to brain injuries she is severely disabled and will need round the clock care for the rest of her life. Her case shows why social services take bruising to a baby so seriously.

It's great you've done courses and been to contact, I wish my daughters birth parents had engaged and made positive changes in their life. No matter what happens your daughter will see when she's older the effort you put in to try and make things better. Have you been supported by your solicitor?

It’s very difficult but social work will need evidence that you can care both for your baby and your son safely, that your son can’t have any opportunity to hurt your baby again. If they are saying it was you that hurt your baby do they have evidence to show you present a risk, eg a medical report saying the injury to your baby is inconsistent with your explanation of how it happened?

Keep doing what you’re doing, go to contact make sure contact is as positive as it can be. It does feel never ending, but the more you work with services the better the outcome.

What support do you have?
There are charities and organisations who might be able to help support you (sorry I can't link here) but have a google and hopefully you will find them.

Is your older son at school or does he have a social worker? They can be sources of help even if it's just letting you know what help and services are out there.

Are your two sons living with you now?
Do you have a partner or any other family who help with the children?

Hi they are both elsewhere with family the fact of findings is in February but social worker has gave me some clues that they are pushing for sgos as doctors don’t know how it’s happened that’s why I am being accused but a paediatrician ordered by court has been out and said he’s more than capable of doing it so I’m just lost in what to do

Your older son being capable of causing the injury doesn’t change the fact that your baby was injured while in your care. Social services need to be clear that your infant is safe whether that be they you need to be more vigilant with your older son or they have concerns you caused the injury is pretty irrelevant because your baby can’t protect himself in either case.

On all honesty you need to be clear about how the injury happened, what you were doing at the time that you didn’t intervene, and the very concrete steps you’ll take to ensure it doesn’t happen again otherwise social services have no way of assessing your insight and your ability to safely parent both children.