Just so sad

[Seahorsesplendour]

Not going into detail for obvious reasons but our child’s biological mother is pregnant again and it’s just made me so sad, for her, for the baby, for our child in the future with yet another half biological sibling relationship to navigate.

That’s it really nothing to be done just wanted to share, thanks for listening

will the baby be allowed to remain with the mother?

more family for your child may end up being a very positive addition to their life?

@flipdiddle81 it seems unlikely for various reasons that baby will stay with her and our time for new additions has passed .

Even if that was a possibility for us I don’t think that would change how sad I feel on hearing this news today

As much as I love our child and will be forever grateful for our family, news like this just brings home there are no winners in adoption, just damaged people both little & big, on both sides of the path and some of them have no voice and that made me sad.

I'm sure I’ll be back to my perky no nonsense happy self tomorrow just a bit overwhelmed today!

i am sure your son will grow up thinking he’s a “winner” to have had you as parents

and surely you think you are a “winner”

It’s not about winning, I could have used different wording.

not meaning to sound rude so apologies if I do,

Thanks for taking time to reply and I think your replies were aiming to help but there isn’t a resolution to this scenario we will just go through it & adjust it’s a bump in the road for us but at its core it’s another life, it’s another loss, for a mom who has already had so much loss and another traumatised child needing a family

im ok with feeling sad today, acknowledging it and then tomorrow I get to wake up and be the best mom I can be because that’s what my little one deserves

It’s not about winning, I could have used different wording.

not meaning to sound rude so apologies if I do,

Thanks for taking time to reply and I think your replies were aiming to help but there isn’t a resolution to this scenario we will just go through it & adjust it’s a bump in the road for us but at its core it’s another life, it’s another loss, for a mom who has already had so much loss and another traumatised child needing a family

im ok with feeling sad today, acknowledging it and then tomorrow I get to wake up and be the best mom I can be because that’s what my little one deserves

I get this. You feel sad, and empathetic for this extra family you're tied to forever.

You're allowed your own feelings on this, and I would feel sad, too if our BM had another baby she couldn't keep. It's desperately sad.

Sorry not sure why that posted twice & not sure how to delete the repeated one!

Sorry, just read this one- you've got this, you're right.

You need the space to feel sad. That space can be here. We can hold it with you over the internet. I hear you.

@rabblenotrebel Thank you 🩵

I can imagine. We have a vulnerable mum in the family and her loosing her child would be devastating for all of us - worst of all her of course. My daughter has a half-sibling who stayed with birth mum, which brings different challenges and a lot of worry. It is all so complicated, no matter the outcome!

I understand the sadness, my two have siblings/half siblings out there that they are connected to but don’t know. Their birth mum has her own story to tell which goes a long way to explaining how she ended up losing her children, which just compounds the loss all round.

It’s ok to be profoundly sad about the circumstances surrounding our kids, and for all the loss involved. There really are no “winners”. Yes people might say my kids “won” when they came to me but I’d much rather they not have had the trauma and heartbreak that brought them here.

I understand the feelings, adoption is such a complex thing.
I have a wonderful son. We have built a great life together. But I can't escape the fact that to get to me he had to see, hear and experience things he shouldn't and those things will stay with him forever.
I wish that wasn't the case.
Like jellycats both my son's birth parents have their own stories which make what happened to their own children more or less inevitable.
I gave my son a chance at a positive life- he's the one who has grabbed it and broken that cycle. I still feel a sadness that his mum is missing out on seeing him grow up and make a success of his life
It's hard to find the right language.

@Jellycatspyjamas @onlytherain @Ted27
thank you all you’ve got it & explained it way better than me I really appreciate you taking the time to post and it really helps to know I’m not alone in feeling this way .