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Original poster

Finding introductions daunting

3 replies

Samthecatswife · 28/09/2024 17:06

Hello,

We’re second time adopters who are a week into intros and our son met the new LO today.

Objectively it’s going well- foster family are very welcoming and it was amazing to see my son meet his sibling today. I’m just feeling the dread/panic I remember from last time. I think I’d forgotten just how stressful and emotionally exhausting introductions can be 😅

I think I’m looking for empathy really. Can anyone else relate? I’m hanging on for when it swaps to our house as I remember that being a turning point last time.

OP posts:
rabblenotrebel · 28/09/2024 17:24

You've got it! Intros are a nightmare- the awkwardness of being in someone else's home, doing the most terrifying thing, and having to pretend you're calm, and walk on eggshells. I think it's worse second time through, because now you know what sort of parent YOU are yourself, so you're not such a blank slate in awe of foster carers, and also have to juggle your first child's needs and the new child, and it's all SO MUCH.

But that it will change to being on your turf, you'll find your feet again, and in a few weeks to months, the love with come and take you by surprise.

You've got all of this. You do know from last time... But second time hits different, because you've got double the kids to think of.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 28/09/2024 17:27

oh wow !

congratulations on doing it all over again.

I can't remember that far back, I remember meeting dd for the first time, I can't remember what it was like for dd1 meeting dd2 the first time. I can just about recall dd2 visiting our home the first time and I have no recall of bringing dd2 home.

but I am pretty sure it was all done in a very short period of time i.e. M-F i visited, very sure we then had ' time off ' maybe just the Sat ? then dd2 came and visited us on the Sunday ( def a weekend day due to the circumstances of the foster family ) and I am almost sure I brought dd2 home very very very soon after that.

very positive the whole thing was done within a fortnight if not 10 days.

I do know dd2 started school the following Monday.

Original poster
Samthecatswife · 28/09/2024 17:52

rabblenotrebel · 28/09/2024 17:24

You've got it! Intros are a nightmare- the awkwardness of being in someone else's home, doing the most terrifying thing, and having to pretend you're calm, and walk on eggshells. I think it's worse second time through, because now you know what sort of parent YOU are yourself, so you're not such a blank slate in awe of foster carers, and also have to juggle your first child's needs and the new child, and it's all SO MUCH.

But that it will change to being on your turf, you'll find your feet again, and in a few weeks to months, the love with come and take you by surprise.

You've got all of this. You do know from last time... But second time hits different, because you've got double the kids to think of.

Thank you - your reply has honestly made me a bit emotional. I think you’ve summed it up so well. It’s a terrifying thing to do yet you have to appear so calm and in control, this time in front of two children! We’ve thought so long and hard about whether or not to take the sibling and now I think I’m feeling the pressure of living up to our decision. I could definitely do with being kinder to myself too.

I also feel guilty about taking LO from somewhere he’s clearly happy and doted on which is a nice new flavour to add to the mix.

4 days until it swaps to ours and we get a morning ‘off’ 💪🏻

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