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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Original poster

How do I find this person?

12 replies

Soitis83 · 24/09/2024 10:08

If my dad had a child before me with someone who wasn't my mum, and that child was put up for adoption, how do I go about finding them? It was a closed adoption and his name would be changed by now. I have a birth certificate for him but it's led me to a dead end. I feel like there must be something I can do but I'm just not sure where to go next.
Any advice would be much appreciated

OP posts:
Original poster
Soitis83 · 24/09/2024 11:10

Bumping

OP posts:
Ted27 · 24/09/2024 12:20

Some useful information here.

https://www.gov.uk/adoption-records/intermediary-agencies

Pac-uk.org also have useful information.

please bear in mind these things are not always like long lost family.
Your sibling may have no interest in being contacted or developing a relationship. This is why counselling is always recommended.
My son is adopted, he also has multiple siblings adopted or in care. He is significantly older than the others. He has no real interest in them. I can't imagine he would ever be anything but polite to them, he probably would meet them, but he has no burning desire to develop relationships with them

Also does your dad know you are doing this. Does he want you to do it. Please be mindful of his wishes before you potentially set off a bomb in his life.

Adoption records

If you were adopted you can access your birth records or get on the Adoption Contact Register to find birth relatives - how to apply, forms and information for birth relatives

https://www.gov.uk/adoption-records/intermediary-agencies

AFingerofFudge · 24/09/2024 18:36

DNA test perhaps??

Original poster
Soitis83 · 26/09/2024 12:48

Ted27 · 24/09/2024 12:20

Some useful information here.

https://www.gov.uk/adoption-records/intermediary-agencies

Pac-uk.org also have useful information.

please bear in mind these things are not always like long lost family.
Your sibling may have no interest in being contacted or developing a relationship. This is why counselling is always recommended.
My son is adopted, he also has multiple siblings adopted or in care. He is significantly older than the others. He has no real interest in them. I can't imagine he would ever be anything but polite to them, he probably would meet them, but he has no burning desire to develop relationships with them

Also does your dad know you are doing this. Does he want you to do it. Please be mindful of his wishes before you potentially set off a bomb in his life.

Dad's not in the picture so that's not a problem. And I understand he may never want or desire any sort of relationship and that's fine I completely respect that. But if there's a chance he might and has no idea I exist, I would love to explore that possibility.
I have tried both of those things, thank you though

OP posts:
Original poster
Soitis83 · 26/09/2024 12:49

AFingerofFudge · 24/09/2024 18:36

DNA test perhaps??

I've done one and nothing has popped up yet unfortunately

OP posts:
Chocapple · 27/09/2024 14:34

If your dad is alive then with all respect any looking for his child etc would need to be between him and the child. You are a 3rd party so to speak.

You would be opening a huge can of worms looking/finding your sibling if this is against your fathers wishes.

Original poster
Soitis83 · 28/09/2024 08:47

Chocapple · 27/09/2024 14:34

If your dad is alive then with all respect any looking for his child etc would need to be between him and the child. You are a 3rd party so to speak.

You would be opening a huge can of worms looking/finding your sibling if this is against your fathers wishes.

You know those dead beat dad's who have kids then ignore their existence? He's one of those.

OP posts:
forcompany · 01/10/2024 16:46

Chocapple · 27/09/2024 14:34

If your dad is alive then with all respect any looking for his child etc would need to be between him and the child. You are a 3rd party so to speak.

You would be opening a huge can of worms looking/finding your sibling if this is against your fathers wishes.

Not true as you're a sibling!

cherrylips · 02/12/2024 08:19

I agree with @forcompany as you are looking for your sibling you have every right to try to contact them if you want to.

Original poster
Soitis83 · 04/12/2024 09:37

Found them by the way. Amazing outcome so far

OP posts:
onlytherain · 04/12/2024 09:52

@Soitis83 Thanks for the update. I am glad things are going so well for you!

rabblenotrebel · 04/12/2024 19:24

Soitis83 · 04/12/2024 09:37

Found them by the way. Amazing outcome so far

Lovely news, thank you for sharing.

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