Mental health crisis

[TuesdaysChildGrace]

I am 2.5 years into adopting, but am currently going through a mental health crisis and I'm unsure what to do.
This crisis started about 6 weeks ago. I am not sure how to get out of it...I feel for my poor child and feel like they would be better off with someone else.
Has anyone else gone through this? The anxiety I am feeling is immense. I don't know how I can cope with this feeling and the racing thoughts for much longer...almost like I might crack up. Any advice/ support gratefully received.

I’m sorry you’re struggling. Have you had previous mental health issues? How have you dealt with previous crisis? Are you seeking healthcare at the moment? How old is your child?

The immediate thing is to get support both for your mental health and childcare - what supports do you have, partner, family members, friends? The feeling that they would be better with someone else may well be symptomatic of how you’re feeling rather than reality. How has adoption been going for you so far?

Sorry for all the questions - and don’t answer anything you don’t want to - but more information will help people know how to help you.

Thanks so much for replying. I really appreciate you taking the time. I had a similar issue a long time ago, but with therapy and medication I was okay eventually. I really wasn't expecting it to come back again. This time with a young child (aged 5) in my care I feel very worried and scared about it. I have gone to the doctor and have been prescribed antidepressants, but they take 4 to 6 weeks to work. I don't really have a support network to call on to help as they are too busy with their own lives. My family live away. My husband is very busy with work.
I would say up until now my relationship with my child has been pretty good, with some ups and downs. They are very boisterous and physical and I am lacking the energy to play with them as I usually would.
I feel really worried that this anxiety won't go away and I will feel this way for ever. I don't think I would be able to parent effectively if that happened.

Boisterous and physical were my boys at that age and it got to the point they needed one one one out and about. Husband was at work, so we set up the garden with football net, pogo stick, trampette, resistance bands anything that didn't take up loads of room and I could sit and watch.
Anything to wear them out, will they be at school in next couple of weeks?

Thanks for the ideas Patchyman1. Yes, some more garden play equipment is a really good idea. Yes, they will be starting school soon, which is causing me another bunch of worries...I think I need to learn to worry less. Thank you for taking the time to reply.

You can access the adoption support fund as a parent too, eg. for therapeutic sessions in which you can talk about yourself and your child. Maybe that could be helpful?

When you say you are having a mental health crisis, do you feel you could be a risk to yourself or your child? Have you spoken to your GP? Have you tried an anti-depressant or paced breathing?

your child is in the best possible place- they are with their mum who loves them and who is getting help. It’s Ok to struggle. You have sought help. You are modelling to them what to do when we don’t feel okay- and it’s not to ignore it but to get help.

please be kind to yourself

Thank you for your reply @onlytherain. I didn't realise I could access therapeutic sessions through the asf, that could be useful, though I worry about letting the social workers know. That said, I did start to take antidepressants and I think the anxiety is beginning to lessen. It still grips me now and again, but less intensely than before, so I hope this is the beginning of a recovery. I have also reconnected with a therapist so I am hoping that will help too. I don't think I am any direct risk to me or my child, but I was worried it may effect him in other ways. But hopefully I am beginning to recover.

Thank you for your kind words @OurChristmasMiracle I do love my child so much, but I then do worry a lot too. Hopefully the therapy will help with this.

The threshold for removing a child is much higher than most people realise. The more likely outcome would be some kind of support for you. You sound like a very responsible and loving parent and social workers will see that and would hopefully try to support you. I am glad your anxiety is lessening and that you have reconnected with a therapist. You are very clearly doing all you can and that is great.