Anyone else with reception started..

[Needaholiday21]

AS4 been home since 10months. Behaviour seems to have flipped in last 2 months. Starts primary in September. Very angry, volatile, defiant, doing everything he can to get attention. He was probably like this 10% of the time before but now it's like 75%.. Everyone telling me this is normal 4 year old behaviour 'i remember those days' etc etc. But it's gone on for ages now.

Any adoptive parents with kids this age going through the same thing right now? He's asleep and I'm pouring a very large wine...

Wine is good.DD been home over 2 years and completely this at school transition,wobbly right through.ive had a meeting with school and organised for staggered start,me picking up at 1.00 till I feel she feels safe,currently no feeling of safety,think will be ok once in a routine but no fun right now.have you got a trampoline,swing,wobble board,disco ball?I'm teaching her 3 spins, 3 jumps,3 rolls,take your breaths and it's helping,but crikey shes wobbly and world too much!be strong when school dont see it,shes been in their nursery and all fine in there but they dont see the aftermath!wel do park and instant snack after school too. As well as wine recommend Richard Franks on Facebook

Thanks for replying. I'm not even convinced it's because of school although the winding down of nursery and school is likely to be playing a part. We did slow intro days he got on fine school were great he is seemingly excited about school.

We've been doing a bit more lifestory work thinking that may help, but this behaviour started before then.

Just at a loss it's awful not enjoying spending time with him and it's clear to see he's struggling with something and I can't quite work out what's setting it off. Keep bouncing between adoption, trauma, change and hormone surge he is growing alot atm.

We've recently been pursuing adopting again (he is unaware) and this feels like a test about whether we could handle having 2 😅

When looking at your list of possible causes I wouldn't rule out Adhd as a possibility. That's something that gains momentum as they get older. I'm saying this as a parent who attributed everything to 'being adopted' when he was this age, but he has since picked up a full shopping list of neurodevelopmental diagnoses - not uncommon in adoptive children.

Regardless of the cause of his frustrations though, I would recommend reading The Explosive Child by Ross Greene in order to better understand and support him. You'll also feel better equipped for conversations with school if you have this under your belt.

I'd also put in a referral to post-adoption support. You don't need to go in with all the answers and what you are hopping to get from it. Just put the referral in and let them help you unpick it. Contact the virtual school as well so that you have them on board for when he starts in September. If it's all gone away by Christmas you won't have lost anything, but if not you'll be pleased you got the ball rolling.