Friend adopting a 6w old, gift ideas

[SouthwestSis]

Hi all,

I'm a mum of 1 and pregnant with my 2nd, my BF is soon to be adopting (fostering to adopt) a baby who will be about 6w old when they take her home).

I know practically what you need for a baby of this age but want to be sensitive to the fact my friend has had a difficult journey with infertility and the stress of the adoption process, she may want to buy things for the baby herself (thinking especially clothes) so that she feels she gets to partake in this aspect of parenthood.

But wondering were there any standout gifts that friends/family got you after you adopted a young baby?
With the uncertainty about the adoption progressing, we're not going to be able to have any kind of shower for my friend, and equally she's not gonna be available for any kind of big group celebration once baby arrives, but how can I best ensure my friend and their new arrival feels "celebrated"?

Grateful for any tips from those of you who've been there

@SouthwestSis

You sound like a very thoughtful friend.
As you understand this is a bit tricky given its foster to adopt and it will be some time before the baby is legally theirs.
Personally I'd hold off on the gifts for now. But your friend is still going to be a new mum and that should be celebrated.

Someone here once said every new mum deserves flowers. So I would probably send her flowers and maybe a voucher for a baby shop.

You can still do things later I don't see why you shouldn't have a celebratory lunch/dinner - if that's what your friend wants.
I had a 'baby shower" complete with its a boy balloons - he was 8 when I adopted him, so anything goes in adoption world.

I did foster 2 adopt. It's tricky because you do not know the journey ahead and if it will lead to an adoption or a return home to family. Many people sent flowers and thoughtful cards which I really cherish now. They were so careful in their wording and I was greatful because they are lovely to have now in LOs baby box. A friend who had also done a F2A bought me gift cards for the coffee shops and cafe's near the contact centre. I didn't appreciate the thought behind this until I was spending upwards of 21 hours a week waiting there for LO while they were in contact (it was to far to go home.) Many friends asked me if they could gift new soft toys, blankets and outfits etc for LO and it was very joyful to open these because no matter what they would have them. I recently had a good friend over - 6 years since LO was placed with me and she showed up with one of those china Peter Rabbit piggy banks and explained it had always bothered her that she hadn't bought a traditional baby gift. LO spent a happy hour making snow out of the polystyrene packaging while I had a wee cry over the piggy bank. Perhaps asking your friend what she feels comfortable with would work. They are lucky to have you! xx

A lovely card, a little something for baby and something practical (take away vouchers or a home made lasagne or similar?)

Thankyou for your replies, all good thoughts and ideas!

We did foster to adopt and every time we got a gift or card that treated us like anyone else with a new baby I just cried with gratitude. And as a previous poster said anything you buy for the baby is theirs and will go with them if they don't stay and go back to their birthparents. So I loved it when my husband's work got our girl a library of everyone's favourite children's books e.g. hungry caterpillar, Dear Zoo, etc. Perhaps it's obvious but your friends are going to be as shattered and overwhelmed as anyone else with a 6 week old baby so anything to make life easier is a winner. Big hits for us were vouchers from my work for Cook to get posh ready meals for the freezer and friends sent brownies by post. Flowers were nice but kind of overwhelming on clean up when you are so exhausted and petals and leaves are falling off as they wilt. Whatever you do will be appreciated, a card, a call, a text, a gift all show you are with them and you are delighted for them, even though it might not be forever.

My workplace gave us a family photoshoot, which had a long use by date so we did that once the kids were settled. They are some of my most treasured photos of us. Even of the baby was returned or light by nice for them to have some photos? I also really appreciated flowers, my friends made me a parent survival kit with things like chocolates, cozy pjs, a nice coffee mug, nice coffee etc. It’s lovely that you’re thinking of her - and get how tricky it can be to do the right thing.

What about something like milestone cards?

The photos can stay with the baby in his/her life story book or made into a baby book.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Original-Baby-Keepsake-Cards-Milestone/dp/B00EYDECNU?