When our son went from Reception to Year 1 we found out he hadn't been put with his 4 'best friends' and they had all been put in the same class together. Our son was very upset, felt he'd been punished, and didn't understand why he wasn't with them.
I challenged this at the time, asked about their training with attachment etc, but was fobbed off and told it was 'for the best'.
For the first 6 months of Year 1 he cried most days (and he doesn't cry unless hurt) and said he hated school.
We have regular meetings - every 3 months - with the Head and the Year Leader, to go over progress and also discuss where the PP is being spent. He doesn't have an additional needs, so this is normally just on school trips etc.
In these meetings we have also had discussions about transitioning into Year 2, and who would be preferred, so what happened before doesn't happen again. We have had at least 2 meetings to discuss names. From the 4 'best friends' we all agreed 2 may not be the best choice as they can all be competitive (football mostly!), but the other 2 would be good. And not both, just one.
The Head also said 6 months ago that she could see what we meant when we said he wasn't with any of his close friends in Year 1, and we said he doesn't get invited to birthday parties from kids in his class as he has nothing in common with them.
4 weeks ago the Head called us, said 'I'm thinking X and X for his class if you agree (which was 2 of the 4 boys), is there any additional names?'. We suggested 3 more names, and said ONE of the first two, and ONE of the second set would be great.
Last week we find out that our son isn't with ANY of the 4 boys, and they have again all been put together in a class. A class that will now not change until they leave at age 11. Our son has been put in a class with the 3 'additional' names we gave.
I emailed the Head, asked what had happened, and after a day or so she replied saying she was confused as she thought she got it right this time. I said he still wasn't with any of the 4 close friends, and again they'd left them all together.
She then called on Monday, apologised, and said the options are we leave our son where he is, or she could move him into the class with the 4 boys (as there is a space now as someone is leaving).
I said we're now stuck between a rock and a hard place (if that's the right saying?!) and need some time to think.
So we leave him in his current class, with none of his close friends, where he has to make new friendships again, all the while seeing his 4 close friends build their bond (as they would have been together for 3 years).
Or we move him to the new class, with ALL of the 4 close friends, and worry if that may be more disruptive/detrimental.
The other issue is me and my OH don't agree on what to do.
He feels school is about 'learning and education', but I think at 6 years old he needs to have those friendships, and not have to 'start over' every year to build new ones.
We are also very different people; I am more sociable and outgoing, value my friendships and make an effort to see my friends but am not 'educated' as such, whereas he is the total opposite to me and an academic, went to Uni and got great grades.
Can you offer some advice, please?