How do I tell my parents?

[readyfornum2]

I decided to trace my birth mother a couple of months ago and after an hour on the computer I managed to find her. I wrote to her and we have been in contact since and we are both very keen to know each other.
The problem is I havent told my adoptive parents yet and I dont know how to! I didnt tell them at first because I wanted to see if there would be any contact before I told them but now there is I dont know how to approach it.

My adoptive mum suffers with her health and has just been told she is not fit to ever return to work and is already feeling down without me bothering her with this but I feel as if I am betraying them by doing it behind their backs!

Has anyone else ever been in this situation and what did you do? How did it turn out?
Any suggestions welcome x

Been there, it is very had. I told my adoptive mum, but it was very hard and although she said she supported it, in reality I think she found it very difficult.

Betrayal is a normal feeling. I had to have counselling before I traced mine, and I was warned that this was a normal feeling, although it didn't make it any easier.

TBH, I though everyone had to have counselling before they make contact with birt mother

Only if you were born before 1976 or similar
I was born in 1982 so it isnt compulsary plus I traced her myself so I didnt have an agency to go through (I didnt even get my full certificate because I knew her name and dob from a letter I recieved when my parents told me)

My adoptive parents always said they would support me but I just dont know how to start the conversation!

I wrote my AP a letter

but feelings of guilt is deffo there

Perhaps you could ring them in a "never guess what" type of way and then follow it by sending you AP a huge boquet of flowers telling them how much you will always love them and they'll always be your Mum & Dad?

I would do it face to face personally. Just be short and to the point.

"I know you always said you would be supportive of me in tracing my BM, but I'm incredibly nervous of telling you that I've already started the process when the timing with your health is so bad".

Being excluded from such a big part of my DS's life would feel a million times worse than having to deal with him finding his BM (or at least thats how I feel now).

I would also second the whole face to face and to the point thing. I did exactly the same as you (last summer - no compulsory counselling as Scottish adoption in 1973), made contact and then told my (adoptive) mum. I felt that I didn't want to tell her before this point as it was MY thing. Anyhow, it has been hard, despite mum's assertion that she was OK with it. I think she is coming round to the idea that my birth family are now in my life, but they will never replace her or be able to do for me what she did in bringing me up.

I think that Kewcumber is right and that although it will probably rock your parents' world they would always rather know than not know.

Hope this helps! Feel free to chat.