Reading materials/ preparation for family members?

[Niukk]

I'm posting as my brother and SIL are looking to start the adoption process this year.

I really want to be as supportive and informed as I can.

They have struggled to have a baby, decided to not undergo any fertility treatment and go to adoption instead. I am happy for them to be parents, however although no direct experience of adoption having worked in mental health services with a range of traumatised adults and young people, I have to admit I have a bit of trepidation about the long term. Very selfishly I'm also thinking about the dynamic between my very young children and their new cousin(s).

Grateful for advice or recommended reading. Thanks.

Adoption UK did some really helpful webinars for extended family which helped us and we had a book called 'Related by Adoption' I think which was less helpful but ok. We also found some online resources that were useful handouts.

In our experience the Grandparents found it useful to watch the webinars as little things that would have big impact came from Adoption UK rather than us so was really listened too for example - such as not to share photos over social media, and not going in for hugs all the time to start with for example.

And in our experience, in the hope it reassures you, our little one is adored by the cousins and completely very much one of them. Remember that the process is slow - ours took 3 years to placement - so it may well be that the new cousin is the youngest perhaps and yours may not be so little by the time they arrive too? We integrated normalising of positive adoption children stories such as doc mac stuffins so the young cousins were quite used to the idea of adoption. But again, such a long process I would leave that side of things until nearer the time.

Maybe these books would be helpful?

Related by adoption: a handbook for grandparents and other relatives (2014 edition)by Hedi Argent |

Adoption Is a Family Affair!: What Relatives and Friends Must Know,by Patricia Irwin Johnston (American with a very different take than Related by Adoption, worth reading as well)

No Matter What: An Adoptive Family's Story of Hope, Love and Healing - Sally Donovan

The Unofficial Guide to Adoptive Parenting: The Small Stuff, The Big Stuff and The Stuff In Between by Sally Donovan

Sally Donovan's books are very readable and educational.

Bruce Perry's The Boy who was raised as a dog and Dan Hughes Building the Bonds of Attachment are also very good.