Brushing Teeth

[saltyandsweety]

It's a universal issue, but my toddler is adopted so obviously that has to be considered when parenting.

AC is 2.3 but probably around 12 months younger developmentally.

Placed with me 8 months ago. Getting on very well. Absolutely no behavioural issues & attachment is going well.

I just hate toothbrushing time though, as so do they.
I've tried a few things, they love playing with their toothbrush and sucking of the toothpaste, and mimicking a little toothbrushing, but obviously not what a dentist would be happy with.

I have resorted to just wrapping them up in a towel (I'm a single parent) to pin their arms down (they are physically big for their age) and just going in with a toddler electric tooth brush.
They cry/scream/bite the toothbrush throughout. I just carry on, I'm calm, and moderately cheerful, acknowledging they don't like it, but we are doing a great job.

Should I just force feed them toothbrushing songs on YouTube? They understand what toothbrushing is, but I doubt they can understand the consequences of not doing it at their age.
Just accept it's horrible?
I obviously cuddle them and within 5 mins it's like it's never happened, but I feel rotten about it.

I know the FCs did toothbrushing after bath (baby also played with toothbrush in the bed) as I saw them in intros, but I weirdly can't remember how it went, or if it was the same.

Played with the toothbrush in the bath is what I meant (can't edit on my phone)

That sounds really hard. Has toothbrushing always been difficult for the two of you, or only recently?

I wonder if you could reach out to FCs and ask about it?

Are you using the same kind of brush/toothpaste FCs used?

What happens after toothbrushing? Is it bedtime? Perhaps they know brushed teeth means going to bed and they don't want to.

Could it be a sensory issue?

I hate tooth brushing time too. Goodness me it is exhausting! Have you tried those u-shaped toothbrushes? Not as good as a proper brush, but definitely easier than a traditional one and an unwilling toddler!

I wonder if it's a sensory thing- mine love to eat the toothpaste but don't really like the foaminess or getting it on their face and lips if that makes sense. Maybe a different flavour toothpaste might be more or less appealing depending on how much they like playing with it?

We do animal calls to get them to open and close their mouth- so tiger teeth, baboon calls etc. I guess you could adapt it to whatever their interests are!

We have ones with flashing lights on them from b and m, they go green then orange then red, so they open their mouths on green, tiger teeth on orange, free choice/own brush on red.

You could also get them to brush your teeth, see whether they see how hard it is when you bite it, or just model how to keep still? Mine like doing that sometimes. Or get one of those fake teeth sets from temu and practice together?

Our motto is health and hygiene come first- most stuff they get a choice in, but baths and toothbrushing... they have to have it done, no matter what, and we don't have all evening to debate it so in the nicest possible way, it's going to get done, and you can decide how that goes. You aren't the only one! Ours are a bit older and it has improved now that our tooth brushing sessions are like a hideously fake strawberry scented disco and i let them spit the foam out at regular intervals, but still...

I cannot wait until they are old enough to do this particular task on their own. That and putting on their own shoes and seatbelts just feels like a lifetime away!

Could it be the noise of the brush.maybe try with a manual one to see if that makes a difference.

He seems so young for an electric toothbrush. A quick google, taking adoption out of the equation, indicates that the earliest you might want to try an electric toothbrush on a child is three, and that's based on typically developing children and if they actually want it. I think my son was about five when I bought his and that's because he'd seen mine and badly wanted to be grown up like me.

The thing is, although you can say hand on heart that his teeth are definitely clean, you are not promoting good hygiene habits. This is not suddenly going to switch one day to being a pleasant routine, and there's a good chance you'll be fighting the same fight a few years down the line with a bigger child. I think you need to take a step back and buy a cute and age appropriate manual brush (straight or u-shaped, or buy both to give him an element of choice) for him. Get a manual for yourself as well (you can still use your electric one later), and let him 'brush' his teeth (in what ever way he likes) while you do yours. Then when you've finished doing yours ask if you can 'finish off' for him. Don't make a big thing of it. If he bites the brush, let go of it until he also lets go and then resume. If you only manage 20 seconds instead of two minutes, that's fine too. Once you've earned his trust you can build it up. I also found directly after tea was a pretty good time so it doesn't make for an unsettled bedtime.

Oh I remember the pain of brushing teeth. I never did really work out if it was a sensory issue or a control one.

You do need to persevere but something I used to help me cheat a bit was a children's mouthwash. Not sure if that would be helpful with your age child though?

If you think it may work, we started with 10 seconds of toothbrushing follwed by mouthwash. Then, when that was being tolerated, we slowly incresed the length of time with the toothbrush and always finished off with mouthwash.

My children are now in their teens but if we are going through a tough patch I still say, 'A quick brush and then use mouthwash'.

Another trick we tried - but again not when that young so possibly not an option - was to let them brush my teeth. It certainly gave me insight into how odd and uncomfortable it is to have someone else stick a brush in your mouth. If your child is too young to risk that, perhaps a partner or a good friend can do it with you and also let you practise on them as they will be able to provide feedback your young child can't.

I could have written this! Teeth brushing was an absolute nightmare from 2-4 years old and as I was on my own I had to pin them down and get it done. While I absolutely appreciate this was far from ideal, to me it was less traumatic than the prospect of a full dental extraction which would have been our alternative as they clamped his jaws shut and refused brushing. Our turning point came when child smile visited nursery with a puppet draggon who didn't want their teeth brushed either. LO thought it was the funniest thing they had ever seen in their life and is gave us something to play at through the day way before teeth brush time. LO loved being the draggon refusing to open and I had to be the exasperated dentist. Then I introduced a sticker bag - earning a grid full of stickers won a prize from the toy bin at the chariry shop. In every other way in parenting I would never have "bribed" with prizes but I was desperate. Then I followed the following script at tooth brush time that we did not deviate from (and still don't.)
Me: Time for teeth. First let's have a big kiss and cuddle. I love you so much. Here is the tooth brush. It in your turn first for 5. 1,2,3,4,5. Now my turn. To win a sticker you must now open in 3,2,1 open.

It wasn't always perfect but it improved very quickly when they got the hang of the routine. Now LO attempts to chat over me and distract me and I bash on loudly with my lines from this script and they give up chatting and open. It takes time but it did work.
I will never forget how awful it was and wanted to offer my support. Speak to nursery about child smile, buy stickers and be so kind to yourself. x