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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Original poster

Matching Panel

8 replies

ChezM · 13/04/2024 09:19

Hi everyone. My husband and I are going to matching panel at the end of this month. It's taken us a very long time to get here.....over 5 years since initial visit from SW. The linking stage was quite stressful. However everything is back on track and we are really excited. Also (understandably) very nervous. Can anyone share matching panel experiences and how we can best prepare?

OP posts:
Ted27 · 13/04/2024 13:02

@ChezM

As ever - be yourself. Remember two sets of SWs think you are the best mum and dad for this child. You are going in with a fan club and everyone wants the child to be in the right place.
They wil probably ask why you think this is the child for you, what draws you to them. If they have any specific support needs how you plan to meet them.
They might ask about your support network and your plans for returning to work. They are looking to you to be flexible and responsive to your child's needs. I was asked what I had learnt about myself during the process.
A lot of people get wound up about what to wear - again just be you, no need for suits, wear what you feel comfortable in.

Good Luck - let us know how you get on

Jellycatspyjamas · 13/04/2024 13:08

Congratulations on staying the course. Our matching panel was lovely tbh, most of the panel members knew our children and were very pleased to see them matched.

Think about why these children, what do you know about them and how do you feel able to meet their needs. Our panel was more a conversation about the children than a Q&A type interview, it was apparent that we had considered their needs and their fit within our family.

Do try to relax (easier said than done) and just be yourselves, you’ve already been approved to adopt, this is about whether these children are right for you. They want to place them so won’t be trying to catch you out at all. Good luck.

Original poster
ChezM · 26/04/2024 12:29

Well my husband and I were officially matched with our LO. Hoping to bring her home within 9 weeks. The panel was not as scary as I thought it world be. Thank for all your advice 💓

OP posts:
Ted27 · 26/04/2024 13:16

@ChezM

Congratulations !!!

You will have loads to do in the next 9 weeks but I'd highly recommend a short break away - enjoy a last child free holiday

Original poster
ChezM · 26/04/2024 13:20

@Ted27 that's definitely a plan 💓

OP posts:
LeoLeo2 · 26/04/2024 21:25

Congratulations!

Those 9 weeks will disappear remarkably quickly so relax whenever you can.

teekay88 · 08/05/2024 13:27

Fwiw our matching panel was very relaxed and as much as it's possible to do with all the nerves in the mix try to keep mind by the time you've got to this stage it'll be mostly a formality and they would have let you know by now if there were any serious indications you wouldn't be successful. Be prepared for a lot of people in the room (I think we had 9 sitting round a square table!) but it was all very jovial and relaxed. It passed in a bit of a blur to us so I don't even remember what we were asked but try not to be too "overly prepared" or scripted. They just want to see your genuine selves and importantly understand why you are so passionate to be this child's parents. One thing is to perhaps put some thought into what you think some of the realistic challenges are of their background and how you think yourself and partner have the skills and traits to help their needs. It just helps to show that while you're very excited you also have a realistic grounding in what likely lays ahead.

Other than that I'd say a good night's sleep the day before if possible, dress in something comfy to help put you at ease, and give yourselves some "debrief" time afterwards. It's an intense thing to go through and you sound like you've been through a lot so for sure some emotion will come to the surface and you'll need some space before you get back to normal duties! Hopefully there'll be great news to celebrate. There's not a lot of time or space within the adoption process to celebrate rather than worry so this is the time to enjoy the moment and congratulate yourselves on everything you've done. Best of luck, will be thinking of you! Let us know how it goes!

teekay88 · 08/05/2024 13:28

Oh whoops I see I am too late and huge congratulations are in order!!

Another vote from me to definitely enjoy a child free holiday! Soak in as much alone/couple time as you can and enjoy the nesting!

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