Would a 9 month old baby with a disability be adopted or fostered to be adopted?

[OneCoolGuide]

How does the adoption process work in the UK?

My cousin has has a 9 month old who was unfortunately born with a disability (has three other children without disabilities) - could she consider adoption for the newborn? How would it impact her other children? I know there's charities that do adoption and the council - how does it work?

Also how easily would she find a family that would adopt (think she wants to avoid fostering if possible though appreciate there is foster to adopt schemes)

I am sorry to hear about this.

Your cousin would need to contact the Local Authority that she lives in. They will then discuss at length with her the lifelong implications of her wanting to put her child into the care of the Local Authority.

The Local Authority would then look for suitable Adopters or if not long term foster care. Your cousin would have no involvement in obtaining new parents/carers. There would be a legal process whereby she terminated her rights. Bear in mind that the father if he has PR would also need to do this.

The Local Authority would as part of this discuss with your cousin any help that she could get. And likely direct her to counselling.

@OneCoolGuide

Has your cousin had any counselling about this?
If she decides to do this it will have huge implications for the whole family and that includes the other children. It will be extremely traumatic for everyone involved and the impact will be lifelong.
If she wants to pursue it she will need to contact social services in her local authority. However, please be aware that social services priority will be to keep the family together.
If the child does go into care then your cousin will have next to influence about what happens to them next. There will be court proceedings which will determine whether its in the child's best interests to be adopted or go into long term foster care.
If the decision is to adopt them the child will have a social worker who will work with a family finder to find the best adoptive family for them.
If the decision is to foster then there is a possibility that your cousin can maintain regular contact with the child.
I'm guessing that as the baby is 9 months old your cousin is struggling to cope. Maybe it would be better to look at how she can be better supported rather than take such a drastic and irreversible step.
I hope your cousin can find the best solution for everyone.

Do you mean the other children could be at risk of being taken into care if she goes down this route?

@OneCoolGuide
No the other children wouldn't be at risk

But they would lose a sibling that they will have lived with for a year or so. The loss would be traumatic.

Hi @OneCoolGuide

As PPs have said above, firstly I would suggest your cousin got in contact with social services and spoke with them directly, as they will be able to offer much more support and specialist advice.

From my understanding, relinquishment is not necessarily an easy process. Social services will want to investigate all possible family options for adoption, so it might also invove seeing whether extended family of either birth mum or birth dad would consider raising the child, whether birth mum could be given extra support, or whether birth father or his family could take care of the child. Has birth mum considered this option? Regardless, this process. will all take some time to be done properly. If she refuses to care for the child in the interim, it may well be that the child goes into foster care in the interim, and if adopted then they will have to go into foster care whilst proceedings happen I should imagine.

Just so you know, very few children are relinquished nowadays, so there is maybe not as much understanding about what this would entail in the general public. The care of children would be relinquished to the state (I.e. foster carers) who would then seek to place the child with parents that the state chose. this is because the legal relationship between the child and the birth mother is severed permanently. If the child has very severe and complex disabilities, it may be trickier finding them a permanent placement, and so there is a chance they could be placed in long term foster care as it may be better suited to their needs, but it would be up to the local authority to do that. From my understanding, even if the birth parent relinquishes the child, they do not get a say in who the adoptive parents are, unlike in some parts of the USA. They are able to state a preference about things like religion, but ultimately if the state deems a prospective adopter a good fit, they will place the child with them. The birth mum may not know anything at all about the adoptive family, depending on the situation.

Modern adoption in the UK is always a last resort, and quite rightly great pains are taken to try and support the family to keep the child within the birth family wherever possible.

I'm really sorry to hear that your cousin is struggling. I wonder whether you could support her to reach out to some of her support network and get some help? Being a new mum can be horribly overwhelming, and with 4 children I can imagine it could feel quite hard to manage. However, and I speak as a mum of adopted children that I love and adore, adoption should always be a last choice, when all other safe options have been exhausted. I can imagine that in the throes of early motherhood, parenting a child with disabilities could seem very daunting, but if there is help available that would support her rather than going down this route, it is often better for the child in question.

Thanks for all your replies

Just had one last question, how do charity based adoption agencies work? For example https://www.caritascare.org.uk/ - is this just another way to put a child up for adoption and you can choose the parents? Without foster care I imagine

Hi OP this is a Voluntary Agency. Part of their role will be to assess potential Adopters.

Voluntary Agencies have no involvement in the relinquishment process- this can only be done via the Local Authority.

Lots of excellent advise here. Would like to add that we adopted six with disabilities. Have a large circle of friends who have adopted similar children.

No, all children are cared for by the local authority, who can then place children with their own bank of local adopters that they have trained. Sometimes local authorities band together to create regional adoption agencies so they have a bigger pool of adopters.

voluntary adoption agencies (like the one mentioned above) train and support adopters who then apply to adopt children placed for adoption by the l.a. but that the local authority may find harder to place or need specialist placements for. A social worker would look first to local authority adoption banks, then to voluntary adoption agencies for potential adopters, but the child would ultimately still have to be in the care of the local authority before being adopted. T
i think what you are ultimately asking here is whether social services need to be involved. In the UK, is no way to adopt a child without social services being involved, even for step parent adoption etc.

However, I would say that if you are concerned about social workers, would it be possible to encourage your cousin to contact their older children's nursery, home start outreach or children's centre? They may be able to provide support and advocacy if she is worried about contacting social workers. There are also some advocacy charities that work with families who are struggling, and obviously the local authority will want to offer the support she needs rather than taking a child into care.

@OneCoolGuide

The legal responsibility for all children in care is with the local authority.
These agencies are for adopters and foster carers. They are not for birth parents to use to find families

I've just realised that the baby is 9 months and not a newborn.

Social Services would have many questions about why your cousin is now thinking about Adoption as she's had 9 months with the baby. It may be that she is just overwhelmed and has not got the support she is entitled to.

E.g DLA and if she is not working or earns very little Carers Allowence. Also the baby having a disability she may be entitled to have a Disability Social Worker and/or receive Respite from the baby. Also has your cousin found other families with children with the disability ? There are lots of formal/informal support groups around. Another thing is that if your cousin is at the point of thinking about Adoption then surely she already has additional involvement with things like Health Visitor, Pediatrician and other specialists. As children with disabilities who require huge amounts of Care have big teams around them. If your cousin does not have this in place she should contact her GP who can signpost.

Lots of people see adoption on tv (US programmes) and think that’s how adoption works in the UK. The reality is very few babies are relinquished here due to a combination of accessible contraception, accessible termination of pregnancy and the welfare state.

The local authority have responsibility for children who for whatever reason can’t be cared for by their birth parents, even in private adoptions the local authority have a role to play. It would be worth exploring with your cousin what’s driving her wish for adoption - I imagine she’s incredibly overwhelmed and the reality is support for parents whose children have disabilities is shockingly poor. I’d echo making sure she is receiving all the support available to her for all of her children.

I think you need to support your cousin to go to the early help hub or health visitor or GP for support.she will need alot of support right now.

Has your cousin made the adoption suggestion?

Please do not suggest to a struggling mother of a nine month old that she adopts the baby out.

It sounds like she needs a break- could you help?

Have been giving this some thought, is the baby at home with her or is the baby still in hospital in view of the disabilities? One of our children was in hospital until he was 14 months old and never went home. Just a thought.