DLA

[GooseberryCakes]

Dear all,

I am a long time reader but this is my first posting.

We have an adoptive DS, he is now doing really well, in main stream school and achieving academic standards expected, he is social and has core friends at school, and we are looking at introducing play dates for him. We could not be happier with how well he is doing, he has worked really hard at overcoming a lot of trauma in his past.

At present partner and I work so that one of us is available for DS at all times to support him. We do school runs, etc. and do not use after school clubs, child minders, etc. as we do not think DS could manage this, for example he can get quite upset if he comes out of school and one of us is not visible to him waiting for him, when we drop him at school he will check we are going to be at home in case he needs to come home. If he is attending a party or activity we will stay with him rather than 'drop and go'. It is all the little things, so he could dress himself in the morning but in reality we help him get dressed. None of this is a problem for us, and we are happy to do it, he is doing so well we want to do everything we can to support.

But I am expecting to be made redundant shortly after Easter. I am going to get a good package as they want me to stay to complete projects I am working on rather than look for another job. But the redundancy will not last forever. The priority in looking for a new job is DS rather than pay, and I am expecting a significant pay cut. We are not extravagant, but have already cut expenditure as much as we can to allow for the reduced income from having one of us home with DS at all times. I am already starting to get stressed thinking of how we will manage, and wanting to conserve the redundancy package as long as possible while I job hunt.

So I am wondering about applying for DLA - do you think it is worth applying? I am hesitant about investing the time, energy and hope in the application if it is not realistic to get it, and worried about how we prove the case when we have not used ASF, etc. as he is doing well as school and home. So also any advice on how to apply.

Thanks.

The question is whether he needs more care than a "normal" child at his age. I would be concerned that the decision maker may feel that what you're describing is normal for younger children. It depends how old he is- for a six year old, I don't think you'd get it, but maybe lower rate? For a fourteen year old, then probably lower or middle rate. Decision makers like reports (school, OT, medical, a diagnosis). Does he have a diagnosis of attachment disorder? As while DLA is decided on needs, the decision makers guidance does go by diagnosis.

I have read a lot since applying for mine.

He does not have a diagnosis, and is 10.

I also think the absence of reports is problematic, and makes me think it may not be worth applying for. I am worried I could spend a lot of time and effort, and get really investing in application process that I could better spend time and energy on DS. It is just the money is going to be a real issue for us and with move to secondary school coming so soon I need to put him first with what I know is going to be a challenging time for us as a family.

We get DLA for both our 10 and 11 year old. Mid rate care, low rate mobility. Both have significant needs above that of your "average" child. Both have EHCP's and attend specialist schools. Both have ADHD which we see the community paediatrician for their medication. One also has a growth medical condition which we see a specialist for medication. The evidence we provide is from EHCP and medical reports. I think without evidence you would struggle to get it granted.

My experience is different, in that my DD didn’t have a diagnosis and was in mainstream school. She does need much more care than a child her age - a lot of supervision and scaffolding. I found the Cerebra guide very helpful in framing her additional needs because so much of what I do had evolved to meet her needs so I didn’t notice or realise how much I put in place that a typical child her age wouldn’t need.

I’d start by reading the guide, as you look at the examples they give you may well start to identify supports you put in place without really thinking about it. I’d also think about why your son wouldn’t cope with childcare, because that too will tell you the kind of extra support he needs that isn’t available in a standard setting.

I found the application process fairly easy, in that I could articulate what was different having read the guide. It was also difficult though in that you need to think about your child on his worst day eg on a day where all his coping strategies fail. It’s often the case that you’re using different strategies for different thing which, on their own, are manageable. For example, my DD needs a long lead in to the school day, she might get very anxious and need a lot of coaxing to get ready, and need emotional support to actually go into school. That’s mostly manageable however if she’s also had a sleepless night (so I’m tired and she’s tired) and has a panic attack, or a flashback it starts to quickly add up to a lot of support across day and night. Thinking about your child at their most challenging is hard, because that’s not all there is to her but you need to focus on that part.

I’d say it’s worth applying, do you have someone professionally who is aware of your sons needs - not necessarily offering you a service but who you’ve spoken to about the demands of caring for your son? The reality is, given the lack of resources to diagnose and lack of support services there are many families whose children need additional care (which is the threshold for DLA) who don’t have supports and services involved. Lack of professional support shouldn’t exclude you from financial support.

@GooseberryCakes I think your post is a great example of where our children fall through the cracks for funding. My 4 year old receives the mobility and care component of DLA at the highest rate due to her complex disabilities (profound learning and physical disabilities and a visual impairment), these do make parenting a bit harder and certainly would make being employed difficult but these needs absolutely pale in comparrison to her attachement needs and subsequent behaviours. I almost feel like I'm cheating the system (although I'm not!) because I get the financial help I need for her attachement needs only because she's disabled.

DLA is a key benefit because it opens the door for other things e.g. enhanced universal credit rates and also universal credit won't have the expectation of you working.

I agree that it's worth giving it a go, especially as your son is a bit older at age 10. Take some time to read the cerebra guide and then a couple of weeks making notes as you go of where he requires help and support above what other children his age need. I find it's really hard to think of things when completing the form so observing as I go is helpful, also because I'm used to my children I forget/don't realise what is typical for children their age so find it helpful to run it past someone I trust with children of similar ages. I think the biggest stumbling block may be the lack of documentation, for you the section where a professional gives their input will be key- you could use a SW, SENCO, school family worker etc.