Other school staff adoptive parents

[Nel81]

Anyone else a member of school staff here? Don't know what I'm looking for really... support, a hand hold or just a kick up the bum and told to get on with it. I returned to work in September after a full year adoption leave and the summer holidays off. I loved my job as a TA but since going back I've really struggled with the class I'm in. The lack of respect and level of noise is off the scale. I'd say the behaviour of the children is the same as other years it's just the downright rudeness and carrying on doing the things I've asked them to stop doing that's getting to me. For context, they're year two and the teacher finds them hard too but I'm just wondering would I find it so difficult if I hadn't had the year off, am I taking my home stress in to work or have kids' attitudes just got worse over time? Just feel really overwhelmed at the moment and have another four days left until the end of term 😔

Hi @Nel81

I'm not school staff but wanted to offer some support.

I don't think its that unusual to struggle with the return to work. I used to work in a large, noisy office. I found it overwhelming at times and it took me a long time to adjust back into the environment.
Plus you now have your own child in the mix, no more going home after work to a nice quiet house!
If the class teacher is finding it hard work them it isn't just you, and for what it's worth my general observations of the 'youth of today' (speaking as an old fogey who is pushing 60!) yes I do see a decline in children's respect for authority figures.
Try and cut yourself some slack, being a working parent is hard work, it will take some time to find your equilibrium.

I don’t work in a school, but just wanted to add from Oct - Dec my kids are as high as kites, it’s my least favourite time of year. The build up to Halloween, then you hit November and it’s all full pelt towards Christmas. There are plays, fairs, discos, Christmas jumper days, carols in the playground - it’s non stop. I can barely keep up with it and we knee slide into Friday every week wondering how the hell we got there in one piece. I’m overwhelmed, and I’m not even with the kids all day!

I think kids are more unruly than they were when I was one, but this time of year doesn’t help and seems to amplify everything including behaviour issues.

At the minute my kids are lovely to be around - but yes, the noise! The eldest has to constantly talk, even if it’s just nonsense and his voice booms - there is little room left to hear my own thoughts.

You are nearly there, I hope you have some well earned rest over the Christmas break, it might (?) look a bit better on the other side of Christmas.

I’m a teacher! I found returning to work so, so difficult and that was part time. I felt disorganised, like I didn’t know if I was coming or going. I found school really unsupportive!

I ended up moving schools after 2 terms and I am now much, much happier!

Just wanted to say thank you for the replies. I spoke to the head on one of the last days and she pretty much made me feel like it was my fault, told me I need to build relationships with them and play games with them, as if I haven't been trying that for the last three months. She also spoke to the 5 I'm having most trouble with and they apologised but had no clue what they were apologising for, they just don't seem to see that they way they behave or speak to me is inappropriate. Another week off (with my currently extremely demanding 5year old) and then only 5 weeks till half term 😂

@Nel81

Your head sounds really supportive !!
Why don't you give it another term, things may feel different the more you get into the swing of things and the snowdrops and daffs are out.
Then evaluate your feelings and what your options are.
If finances are an issue- do you get DLA for your child?

She usually is to be fair but just felt a bit patronising that day. Been working there 8 years and been doing the job for about 20 years so do know what I'm doing. I've applied for DLA for my son, just in that lovely period of waiting for the decision. He's been finding school difficult too but at least that gave the ALNCo things to write on the form to back me up.

I am a teacher - I just moved schools after having second child. I’ve found it harder than I’ve ever found it - the behaviour is so difficult.

The ridiculous thing is, I’m in charge of the ECT programme at school and so a lot of my extra responsibility is supporting people with behaviour management but it’s so bloody hard. It’s the non compliance - it’s the kids running round the school banging on classroom doors - it’s not just rudeness. It’s rudeness on top of mass non compliance and essentially just not learning or doing anything. It’s too boring, but they haven’t tried it. I am secondary so maybe I’m seeing trickier behaviours(?) I hope!

ever since covid, even in my previous school, behaviour has been much trickier. My previous school was much easier but I still had tricky classes and they got so much trickier after covid. I don’t think we’ve seen the back end of the impact yet - I think the children starting school now are going to be so much further behind. My youngest child, who is coming on leaps and bounds, and yes - has issues due to attachment and the adoption side of things but I also wonder what issues due to covid. She’s behind in talking, which someone told me the other day could be because of all the time she spent looking at people in face masks. I remember in introductions taking her to a coffee shop and you had to have a mask on before getting to your seat. Can’t have helped with a) attachment but also b) facial recognition.

in primary school, you have kids starting way behind where they’d normally be, and I guess you’d see this in your older year groups.

id say aswell I’m noticing more parents complaining - lots of issues are the teachers fault rather than the kids fault. I think there’s been a real shift in who is to blame - and it’s us. The kids have picked up on this and I think that’s why you get the rudeness.

i would also say I’ve found it harder going back to work after my second. No offense to my first, love them, but I was a bit bored at home. For my second, we moved to a much more family oriented place and I loved my leave. If I could just quit I would do, but I also want to be able to not have to budget to within an inch of our lives!

hope you enjoy the holidays and have a well deserved rest!!!