Considering adoption - concerned about money

[ConsideringSingleAdoption]

I am 39 and a single woman. I am a teacher on the top of scale with a small TLR for being department head, I am on £51,000. I am sad that I haven't started a family in the traditional way and feel that I have a lot of love to give to a child. I don't feel an enormous urge for a child to have to be biologically related to me and so I am starting to think about adopting a child.

Although I am earning a half decent salary I don't know if it's enough to pay for a mortgage and childcare and everything else. Do you get any financial support from the council when you adopt? Obviously if I had a child with an ex partner he would help me with maintenance - is there any sort of maintenance paid when adopting?

My other option is to sell my house and buy a cheaper property which is something I am open to.

Hi @ConsideringSingleAdoption

Im a single adopter.
There is no automatic financial support for adopters. Some people do get what is called an adoption allowance but they are hard to get these days and tend to come with children who have very high needs or disabilities.
As a teacher you would have the advantage of not needing childcare in the holidays.
You might be eligible for some child benefit ( I think the cut off starts at 50k)
You should look at universal credit, and depending on their needs, the child may be eligible for DLA.
Finances were a huge factor in my decision to adopt a school age child - greatly reduced the need for childcare.

Yes, you should get child benefit as Ted mentioned. I'm guessing you are full time and so you might want to consider how you would manage if you had to go part-time or couldn't go back to work. If you start the process, your social worker will probably want to look at your financial situation. Adoption leave for teachers is the same as statutory maternity pay, but you don't get the additional occupational pay that people on maternity get. Maternity/adoption pay is also affected by whether your school follows the burgundy book or not, I think.
Having children costs money but doesn't mean that should put you off! If you are not sure whether you can afford it, you could work out what your outgoings are for a 6 month period and see how much you have left at the end of the month at the moment. Could you start putting an amount into savings each month so you have a bit of a cushion?

@ConsideringSingleAdoption

If your school does not offer the same package for adoption as it does maternity I would get your union on to it on the grounds of discrimination

@Misstabithabean
I work for a local authority and the maternity and adoption pay matched exactly and were actually very generous for the occupational pay part.

@ConsideringSingleAdoption you could always start to find things out to see what your employer offers.
We've got a friend who is a single adopter, sounds like very similar circumstances to you and all has worked out perfectly. Her little one is now school age x

Glad that is how it worked for you @Remy7 but in my case my local authority school only paid statutory. I agree @Ted27 that it does seem like discrimination but I looked into it quite closely at the time (including speaking to my union) and because that's how it was written in the legal documentation there wasn't another option. It was over 5 years ago so things may have changed. I think its worth @ConsideringSingleAdoption investigating how the adoption pay would work if she is considering the financial impact of adopting.

My workplace (300ish employees) had a policy of statutory only for adoption leave and a still not brilliant but slightly enhanced maternity leave. I wrote to HR to ask it to be reviewed as I thought it was unfair and also indirect discrimination against LGBT people who are more likely to adopt than straight people. They immediately changed the policy, they had never had anyone adopt before and had never given it much thought. Obviously not every employer will be as quick to respond but its worth a try.

I'm a single adopter. I decided to adopt in my late thirties and at the time I was earning a little less than you, but then things cost a little less then too. I found the year of adoption leave fairly easy on my finances as much of the year was full pay or holiday pay (also full pay) and my outgoings were quite low. I did have a period of statutory adoption pay and no pay, but I'd budgeted for it, and it was fine. The part I really hadn't looked ahead to until it was almost upon me was returning to work when my son was two. I was completely naïve regarding the cost of nursery, plus there was the cost of commuting, buying lunch at work, and I was having to provide for both of us on 50% of my salary because I went down to 50% hours. I probably could have claimed universal credit, but didn't realise it at the time, so just tried to live within my means and dipped into savings. Things certainly improved a lot when he started school as the only childcare I pay now is a childminder for an hour in the morning. Happily, this also coincided with a promotion and no more commuting (thank you covid), which gives me two extra hours in my day meaning I now work 80% FTE, and I've saved the money I would have spent on trains. Life does feel comfortable now.

So, I would say that 55k as a salary is fine to adopt, but you do need to look at the bigger picture. How much money do you have left at the end of each month? Are you saving? If not, then could you (as you certainly should)? What are your outgoings? If you are paying a substantial part of your salary on your mortgage then downsizing, as you suggested, might well be a good thing to do. And then you need to consider what life will look like as an adoptive parent. Are you really going to be on 55k or will you reduce your hours? As a teacher, it's great that you'll have school holidays, but in other ways it isn't the most flexible profession in terms of hours, managing your child's school run, taking your child to appointments, etc. Of course teachers often do have children, but how many teachers who are single parents of a small child (possibly with additional needs) work full time hours? You might think you could rely on wrap around childcare and you might be able to, but that really depends on the child. Not all (adopted) children can handle it. And as someone mentioned upthread, depending on the needs of the child, which are not necessarily apparent on placement, you need to be prepared for the fact that you might need to give up work.

If you really want to adopt, you will just have to make it work like many have done before you. Good luck in whatever you decide.

No entitlement to adoption support I'm afraid. Something to consider is most agencies will expect you to take the full year's adoption leave so you will need to budget for this. They won't expect you to budget for the possibility that you might need to give up work or work part time in the long run though. You will get tax free childcare too.

Would you consider pre-school age? This would mean you'd be at home with them for the first year, then they'd go into school, so minimal childcare costs. Also whilst there are no guarantees, the extent of their needs is generally becoming a bit more apparent by that age. I know a teacher single adopter who did this and it's worked out really well.

Also consider whether you can afford to go part time in order to be able to manage the additional need that an adopted child will have. Some parents have given up work altogether.

@ConsideringSingleAdoption I was/am in the same position as you. I agree with everyone check what your schools adoption pay package is and see if you have savings which could match the short fall. I guesstimated £6k but I think towards the end it may get tight

Also have a think about the age range which most speaks to you baby baby, toddler, school age as these play a huge factor into the level of support you will need towards the end of your leave. As a qualified social worker and single adopter I chose not to adopt a child under 2 as I wanted as much into of the developmental levels of the child as I was aware I would not be equipped to raise a child with significant issues. Also upon returning to work after the year I would need time to transition them into nursery even if it is 15 hours.

We are FCs with one week left with our child. She goes to adoption next week.

The AM says she gets no financial support, other than CB. She didn't get any help with transitional travel costs or hotels, even though we do as FCs.

She is taking standard adoption leave (similar to maternity leave). However, as our child is older, this is probably unnecessary, as the child will be at school.

If you want to maintain your career and identity, adopting an older child may be the answer. Our child is 6.

@CraftyGin sorry, are you saying you think adoption leave is unnecessary for school age children?

@CraftyGin

I would take issue with the idea of adoption leave being unnecessary if you adopt an older child.
My son was nearly 8, I had 13 months off and needed every last day of it. if I could have afforded it I would have taken another 6 months.
The school day is short, there are 13 weeks of holidays to cover. Without adoption leave you would be going straight to a heck of a lot of childcare and very little time to build a relationship with the child.
In my first 18 months, I used no child care apart from a holiday club in the summer for 4 hours a day for 2 weeks. I was able to go to every special assembly, every event, every parents event. In my view that time of being totally available to my son was essential to building and establishing our relationship.
Older children still have the SW visits every two weeks until the adoption order.
I could go on.

It doesn't matter the age of the child, there are sound reasons why every new adopter should take as much leave as they can.

Not at all, but in the context of being concerned about money, it may not be necessary to take the full time entitlement. Of course, take the initial time off when the money is close to salary.

With anything to do with adoption, it all depends on the needs of the child.

Our child is well-regulated with no SEN or MH issues. In the last 15 months with us, she has happily gone to school and we have never been called in during the day. We have then been free in the day to do our own thing.

Obviously, if there are medical and CAMHS meetings, that's a completely different thing.

Adopting an older child means that you already have a good picture on the child and their issues (with a realisation that attachment disorders may manifest at puberty). With a baby, you have no idea what is on the horizon, especially if they are victims of drug abuse.

And there are lots of older children that deserve forever families rather than being left in the care system until they are adults.

I didn't say that adoption leave was unnecessary - of course it is necessary at the beginning. But if you are concerned about career and earning, then you many not decide to take the full time-entitlement.

You can't really argue about needing to pay for after-school childcare when you are willing to take months of unpaid leave. Besides, previously looked-after children are entitled to pupil premium (c. £2500), which can be put towards after school care.

Obviously, decisions about when to return to work are made close to the time, in negotiation with employers. They are made when the needs of the child are clear.

Going to assemblies is not a reason to put your career on hold.

Pupil premium most certainly cannot be used for after school care.

You've had a child for 15 months, and you think you can tell there are no MH or SEN issues at all... Even though the child is getting a(nother) new placement. Your foster child's mum is parenting a different child to the one you had- she will be parenting a child in her forever placement. Behaviours and presentation can change dramatically.

Yes, adoption can be right for some older children, and it can mean needs are more known. But both those things can be not the case, too.

One of my children didn't fall apart until age 9, and now needs special school.

Unless you have a crystal ball?

@CraftyGin
My career was put on hold the minute my son came home..
My point about childcare was not financial, it was about being present and available for my child at a time of huge transition
Having waited a long time for a child and knowing that it would be difficult time for him, yes being present at school assemblies was far more important than my career.
The most significant point in our first year was when he leapt out of his chair at the Christmas play shouting that's MY mum, emphasis on the my. The moment I knew he understood this was forever.
I wouldn't have missed that for the world.

@Ted27 that's such a beautiful moment! I know you might feel your time together was short - but it was high quality.

Once children get mums, they need them to be around.

My finances have never recovered. Things are tight. There is little to no financial help.

Let's leave them all in care, then.

We have successfully used PP for before school care.

@CraftyGin what? Where did I say anything about "leaving them all in care"?

You, as a foster carer, may have been allowed to use pupil premium for after school care. As an adopter, I can say emphatically it cannot be used for childcare. It's sometimes used for clubs (eg. music, dance, Lego) as extracurricular activities. But those aren't strictly childcare, and they won't be using the PP+ as childcare- it's to fund that particular activity. So if the activity is a Tuesday, but you work Fridays, you can't use PP+ for childcare on a Friday.

OP is right to worry about finances. I'm crippled due to having children with higher needs than their foster carers would ever believe.

@CraftyGin

I really don't understand your comment on leaving them all in care.
Adopters are to state the obvious taking kids out of the care system. I think all we are really saying is that adoption is not often compatible with developing a career, and in particular if you are single, working full time.
All I know is that my relationship with my son, and his outcomes have been far better for me staying put in work, in a job which I hated for the most part but which was extremely family friendly and flexible.
My son is now away at uni. I am now a full time foster carer, I have had a 12 year old with me for 7 months. Its a very different exprience as an FC. What they do have in common is that at 12 my son was very challenging - I kept working 3 days a week, no way could I do more and I did end up signed off with stress.
As for this one, no way could I work as well - good thing I dont have to.
Can I ask if you work outside the home or is fostering your only job?

@Catleveltired

Yes it was, my eyes may have leaked a bit !

For the OP and any other prospective adopters reading this, there is information on what pupil premium plus is here . The most important thing to note is that it is a pot of money for the school and not for the adopter. It is also not ring-fenced to the child.

There is quite a bit of variation in how schools spend the money and they may or may not consult parents on how it is spent. I was surprised to see breakfast club is mentioned on the link above. More common, and there is quite a recent thread on the moral dilemma of this, is when schools use the money for after school clubs (perhaps one or two hours a week for a specific activity) and school trips. I think it is hard to justify that breakfast club meets the objective of: It is designed to be a pot of money that schools can use to raise attainment for all eligible children. Schools do need to document how they spend the money alongside the attainment of the relevant children, so I think they could only get away with spending it on breakfast club if the child is not displaying any problems in school and attainment is on track. It's this bit that really highlights the difference between pupil premium and pupil premium plus, but the problem is they tend to all be accounted for on the same report without calling out the difference between the two groups: Schools can effectively spend pupil premium on any initiative that will overcome disadvantage and raise attainment. For care-experienced and adopted children, the ‘disadvantage’ is usually related to adverse early life experiences rather than economic disadvantage.

I suppose one possible scenario is breakfast club is being run for 'disadvantaged' children, since having breakfast in the morning is a factor that is likely to help raise attainment in children that otherwise wouldn't have it, and then pupil premium plus children join it, either because the school haven't thought about the difference in disadvantage, or because there is space in the group, so why not, especially if a significant amount of pp has gone on it, or perhaps it is also intended to support social interactions and/or make the morning transition into school easier.

Yes, pp+ is often used like that. But it's up to the school. It's not like a parent can say "I'm working Wednesday, so can pp+ be used to pay for the childcare I need?" You don't get access to it as a pot of potential childcare money.