Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

School discipline

9 replies

Whatthechicken · 17/10/2023 20:06

I always knew about the traffic light system for behaviour at school, I didn't agree with it, but accepted it as most schools seem to subscribe to it. But recently I've found out that when a child's behavioural status changes, they are made to get up in front of the whole class and change their behaviour status themselves i.e. they have to write their own name in the amber or red circle.

I did request a meeting about this, which hasn't yet happened due to one thing or another. But tonight I found out that as well as having to put themselves in a different behaviour category in front of everyone, they also get sent to 'the wall' in the playground for 5 minutes at break time (again in front of everyone). I found this out because my daughter said in the car that she never wants to go to school again (she loves school), I asked why and she told me. She said that today, even though she was on amber, she had managed to 'avoid the wall', but was still embarrassed.

I am furious, we work really hard to reduce shame and never use a shame based approach to discipline - even though we have strict boundaries, we try our hardest to discipline/give consequences appropriately. What's worse is that most of the transgressions from many of the children seem to be fidgeting and talking - they are seven years old!

Because the discipline is all done so publicly, every parent ends up knowing which child has been on amber and red for the week, and I can imagine them telling their children to stay away from the naughty kids, thus isolating the children further. I was informed the other week that my son had been placed on amber by another parent!

I have sent school an email asking them to cease the shame based approach and why, I have also emailed the virtual head...what else can I do? Up to now the school has been brilliant, but a change in leadership did occur recently.

OP posts:
Patchyman1 · 18/10/2023 09:21

When we had a leadership change at school, things went downhill very quickly for us. We were hoping to keep eldest there until he finished year 6 but he was so unhappy that we moved him before and now he loves his new school.

Catleveltired · 18/10/2023 10:22

Many schools are very wedded to these shame based systems. I find it baffling. They maintain they work for the majority- I am unconvinced by this. If these systems "worked" then it wouldn't always be the same kids on red/the storm or whatever, and if they "work" then they do so by fear of public shame - is that a good way to mould our children?

You might not be able to get them to change it for everyone, but they should change it for your LO. Make it clear that shame based approaches are known to be harmful and ineffective in traumatised children. The virtual head may be able to help, but I found the post adoption support social worker and service best placed to hammer this home to school.

sunshineandskyscrapers · 18/10/2023 21:50

This stuff makes my blood boil. Schools are required to publish their behaviour policy on their website, and there seems to be a trend towards therapeutic behaviour policies, which is great in theory, BUT in practice there are schools that have somehow managed to crowbar traffic lights and reward charts as add-ons to a therapeutic approach to behaviour. It doesn't fit a therapeutic model, and they know it doesn't, but they do it anyway because it makes a teachers job easier, or it does in the short term at least. Having the child put their own name on the amber/red is a whole other level of awful though, and feels like the teacher is on a power trip.

Start with the policy. If the school really have these strategies written in their policy then challenge them on it, and definitely use words like 'shamed-based'. As others have said, you might not be able to change it for everyone, but remind them (or educate them) on the problems of shaming children who have a history of trauma, so you can make it better for your child. If these strategies aren't even in their policy it should be easier, unless you find there is a school culture of not following their own behaviour policy, in which case I would look at moving. I agree with previous posters that shame-based tactics are a hard habit for schools to break, but I think the tide is slowly turning and some are moving in the right direction quicker than others.

Jellycatspyjamas · 19/10/2023 07:08

I would hit the roof if that was my child. Our school doesn’t use these approaches, in fact I don’t know of any near me that do but one teacher did have a traffic light system in her class and my son had no idea how you moved between the colours.

I challenged the HT explaining it was a shame based approach, largely discredited and that I wouldn’t be returning my child to class until his name was removed from any publicly observable discipline system.

As you can gather, I’d be going in very strongly with the HT and refusing to allow my child to participate in such a process, it’s an absolute nonsense this is still being pedalled in schools. Maybe the HT should try the process with their staff members and see how quickly it would get shut down.

Whatthechicken · 19/10/2023 07:41

Thank you for your responses, I knew I wasn’t being over the top. 36 hours later and I still have no response to my email - which I think is very rude. The policy states things like they will be given time to reflect….it doesn’t say that that reflection time will be at ‘the wall’.

I did point out in my email that if they treated adults like that they would be facing court proceedings.

I’m just gutted, I loved the school before, they really looked after my son when he started to struggle, but the new management seems hell bent on their direction of travel and it certainly doesn’t feel like they care what parents think. I know of instances were complaints to the school and the trust have just been ignored. I am determined to take this all the way, how dare they shame the kids over such petty, petty misdemeanours.

OP posts:
Gafan · 19/10/2023 12:01

Hi
I have never heard of the traffic light system at any school that I know. It sounds awful and shameful. I would complain to a board of education not the school.

Catleveltired · 19/10/2023 13:03

@Gafan It is a really common "method".

The local authority, or trust board, are unlikely to be interested unless you've already been through the school's processes to get it addressed.

Whatthechicken · 04/11/2023 11:02

Just thought I'd update. The day before I was due to go into school, my daughter decided to take it upon herself to go and see the Head...because she doesn't like the traffic light system and she said "It needs to change'. She spent all her dinner hour with the Head and drew her 'perfect school'. I was very proud of her, but also a little bit terrified, she was very proud of herself. My meeting went well with the head and she appeared to listen to what I had to say. She will be changing the discipline procedure in the spring, but in the mean-time, there will be no more shaming. So I'm hopeful, but not resting on my laurels and I'll keep a close eye on it.

OP posts:
Catleveltired · 04/11/2023 14:18

Well done to your daughter for advocating for herself!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread