Support needed

[EG88]

LO who is 4.5 is an incredibly anxious child. They have various ways of showing this in a non verbal way but resecently clutching themselves as if they need the loo is the go to. At pick up today it was mentioned to me by a teacher for all the world (and LO) to hear. The teacher seemed to be taking the "highly inappropriate" train of thought rather looking to the triggers.

My strategy has been: talk about private area and appropriate touch along with getting a teddy or blanket to squeeze or hold instead.

They are not able to talk about triggers for doing it but I'm guessing it's stress/worry in busy environment away from me. Am I massively over thinking this or should I be doing more.

Thank you

I'm guessing by your child's age that this is their first week in a new school, is it? As a first step I would aim to open up sensible lines of communication by emailing the school and asking for a meeting with either the SENCO or designated teacher for post looked after children, and mention you are worried about their anxiety. My experience is that schools are well versed in the line that all behaviour is communication until they have some undesirable behaviour on their hands and then they just inform the parents in a kind of 'so can you fix it please' way. So I'd go in looking to address the root cause rather than working on telling your child not to do it. I'd also insist that they are allowed access to soft toys if it gives them comfort.

You’re not overthinking it. I agree with @sunshineandskyscrapers, I’d also be having a clear word with the teacher about speaking so publicly about your DDs difficulties, effectively breaching her privacy and potentially causing her more shame, agree that she arranges to speak to you privately if she has concerns about your DD.

I’d also be looking at the classroom environment/school to make it a low anxiety environment for your DD - eg predictable start to the day, soft start, now, next and then boards, low sensory (does the class have a quiet space, does your DD need ear defender etc).

The way to change her behaviour is to lessen her anxiety, different coping strategies will help but ultimately if she’s anxious in school she’ll struggle to learn.

I found that starting as I mean to go on was the best strategy with school, so any issues were picked up and followed through - don’t be afraid to be “that parent”.

This is so helpful. Thank you.