Refused

[Lisefife]

I was wondering how many people get rescued for adoption in Scotland each year, we were refused before panel on silly things like when I was 5 it will effect me now it didn’t effect any of my life, bad my husband as he had a break down 5yrs ago they knew this before we started always been upfront and open I’m confused, why do I do now I’m lost, this has taken us 3 years as we were asked to have a 6 month review for me to loose weight I done that and now this, they said we had 3 choices - 1 meet with the adoption team manager, 2 pull our application or 3 go to panel anyway which I don’t understand. Anybody any ideas? Can I go private instead of local authority or would this still be an issue? Thanks

[Noimaginationforaun]

If you were refused before panel, you can still use a different LO or private agency. However, I would strongly recommend that you work on whatever suggestions that your SW highlighted to you. You don’t say what happened in your childhood or much about your husbands breakdown but if they were the biggest flags then I would seriously look at tackling those before you move on to a different agency.

I think in England if you are refused at panel, then you can’t go somewhere else but I’m sure someone will be along to clarify that!

[Lisefife]

Hi Noimaginationforaun, sorry didn’t want to go into to much in my childhood my dad attempted a overdose I was 5 it didn’t affect me in life much as I was young I just remember little bits, he’s still here and very well, my husband had suicidal thoughts back working in an airport but it wasn’t acted upon and he asked for help this was 5years ago and he got councilling and does else therapy he also gets this for childhood s-abuse that happened when he was 12ish and he also lost his mum to cancer at 21 and his dad 2 yrs ago who was a alcoholic this was all told before we started the process during the start we were asked to take 6 months so I could work on my weight as it was an issue I lost 2 stone and all though this my husband actively got help from gp to show we were trying to make sure there was nothing now it’s come back that it’s all mental health related one but saying he tried suicide but he didn’t and that if alone with the child I wouldn’t in if he was low or having a spell, he hasn’t had a spell in 3yrs no meds anymore either thanks for the reply x

[Lisefife]

P.s nothing was highlighted to work on, we got 3 options 1 sit down with head social worker 2 withdraw out application 3 continue to panel but the recommendations are what they told us

[Jellycatspyjamas]

Do you have a copy of your report, sometimes called a Form F? You should have a copy to read through, I’d start there because the report will be very clear about what the issues are, eg why they think you’re impacted by your dads attempted suicide and your husbands mental health. From there if you think there are inaccuracies in the report you can discuss these with the social worker/their manager.

You could try an application with another agency, but you’d be well advised to tell them about this application and its outcome before you start. If you don’t, it’ll look like you have something to hide which is never a good thing.

How have your meetings been going? Have you been able to talk freely about the difficulties you’ve encountered in life, been able to explain how those experiences have formed you?

[Lisefife]

Hi Jellycatspyjamas

yeah we got this report and we will have a sit down with heads of department in few weeks as she’s on holiday I have outlined all they said and what our response is hope this will be listened to yes both opened up freely to everything hence why I’m wondering the push back